Disorder-Patrick Stump/Fall Out Boy FanFic

chapter one

Sky's POV

Do it. Just do it. No one will miss you.

These were the types of thoughts that drove me to insanity. These were the types of thoughts that landed me here. 

These thoughts were the voices.

The voices had names of course. I mean if they're there, I might as well give them names. This way I can use a name when I'm arguing with them. 

Diana and Declan. Those are their names. Diana is more suicidal than Declan but Declan speaks more.

Look at me. Talking to the voices in my head and naming them. No wonder I'm in here.

-

I've never paid much attention to these jeans. The black denim with rips. Each rip having shown some skin. Under each rip, scars. Disgusting, white scars. Battle wounds? No, more like surrender wounds. Each line for something Diana or Declan said.

Mostly Declan. 

"Schizophrenia, severe anxiety, severe depression, and anorexia," someone said. I snapped my head up from my jeans.

Snap it up harder. Maybe you'll break your neck in the process.

Thanks Diana. 

I picked at my jeans as my mother cried. My father didn't comfort her. I didn't expect him to. They divorced when I was 13. I'm 25 now. They haven't stopped fighting since.

"Western State Hospital," was the next thing I heard. I was being put in the psychiatric center that was in Lakewood. In other words, prison for the insane. 

Good. You're a monster that no one likes anyways.

There's Declan.

The doctor in the clean smelling hospital explained to my parents that I was allowed to take a bag to this place. It would be checked and anything I could harm myself or someone else with would be taken and thrown out.

My parents escorted  me to my apartment. My apartment was in Seattle. I stared silently out the window knowing it'd be awhile until I saw this side of town again. The busy Seattle people went about their business. Visiting the space needle and Experience Music Project with Starbucks in hand. I did that once when I was 15 with my mom. Gawked through the whole part of the museum with everything Nirvana in it.

That was before Diana and Declan came.

When my parents pull into my apartment complex, I step out and give a sad smile to my neighbor, Emily. She was the one who found me and called 911 a week ago.

Yes I said found me. A week ago, Diana convinced me to do it. A week ago, I attempted suicide.

--

'Fucking bitch! Stop being so clingy. Just kill yourself. Go take the rest of your anti-depression pills. It'll make everyone happier.'

Yes Diana. You're right. Courtney didn't want me. She told me to go fuck myself and out the door went our friendship. I guess 10 years means nothing. Graduating together, coordinating colleges and everything else didn't mean one fucking thing to her.

I don't mean a thing to her. Fuck, I don't mean a thing to anyone.

Anti-depressants. Where are they?! Bathroom!

I run to my room and pull out a piece of notebook paper. I will write my suicide note.

'December 12, 2016

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that whoever is reading this will find my body lying cold in my bed. I can't take it anymore. No one wants me. Courtney and I aren't best friends anymore, and Diana and Declan are winning. They're king and queen, taking over another kingdom. That very kingdom is my mind and body.

Mom, Dad and Kayla, I love you guys. I'm so very sorry that I was a failure.

Goodbye.

Sky'

--

Emily found the note when she came to come check on me. She always did. She walked into my room and saw me. Arms, legs and stomach littered with fresh cuts. Sheets stained dark red, my pale body, barely having a pulse. She found me and called 911. Medics were there and flew me to Harborview Hospital.

Emily saved my life.

When I walk in, the scent of cleaner hits me.

Oh.

They cleaned my room. Cleaned it of the blood and pills. 

I trudged to my room, grabbing a duffle bag in the process.

I decided to pack my CDs and a couple pictures of my family. Back when Kayla was just born and we were still a family that had two parents married to each other and not fighting every second they were near each other.

I grab a few comfort items and my journal with my fancy My Chemical Romance pen.

Might as well write about my time at Western State.

My mother walks in and asks if I'm ready. I reply with a slight nod and we're on our way to Lakewood, while I say goodbye for the short while I'll be gone from my city.

------/

Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll try to write more in the next few days, sorry this was really short! I just thought it was a good place to end at. 

And yes that is Melissa Benoist who plays Supergirl in Supergirl on the CW. She plays Sky in my book though!((: cause I mean, she's goals. c'mon.

-Tera