Chapter One: Why I Hate Public Events

Sometimes I just want to crawl into a hole and die. Well alright, perhaps I really don't want my organs to malfunction, or my innards to spontaneously combust, but I must admit crawling into a nice deep hole in a hillside, where I could spend the remainder of my days reading, ALONE, sounds tempting. A hole pleasantly furnished with an overstuffed chair, a warm cheery fire, and endless walls of bookshelves. A hole in which I could sit lazily reading all day, a hole where I would be in perfect solitude never again to publicly humiliate nor embarrass myself, and a hole that would confine me so that I would never see Annalise Juniper Fairfell ever again.

It was entirely my brother's fault. If he had only listened, I would never have become the laughing stock of Mindread province. I begged, bartered, and bribed but all for nothing, for I don't even believe that the ending of this world itself could have stopped Kaylub Grovensonn from falling in love. To whom, may you ask, did this handsome, light haired, blue eyed, young man (who also is in prime health) give his tender heart to? None other than the beautiful, talented, graceful Annalise Fairfell of Mindread province.

We all know the classic epic love song that pesters schoolhouse sweethearts everywhere; someone, and someone, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes........ Well, um, that seems to be a pleasant place to end, needless to say, Kaylub Grovensonn was engaged to wed Annalise Fairfell. Now, I would like to explain that I have no dislike for Annalise, in fact the opposite, I quite like her. She is very kind and generous, and I do believe she will make a nice wife for my brother. I just don't like wedding. Or any public events for that matter, I always, somehow end up making a fool of myself. I talk too much and to loud, I trip and fall flat on my face, or spill food down the front of my new gown. During my great aunt's 4th wedding, I was honored to be chosen to carry the crystal, and sacred bowl of water down the aisle. This bowl is very special, and old. I will repeat old, very old. The bowl and the water represent the purity shared between the two lovers. Well it's supposed to, (may I dare mention that my aunt was married three times, this being the forth), and it no longer does, Why? Because I smashed it. I accidently tripped over the prim minsters wooden left leg, the bowl flew out of my hands and shattered into a million pieces. My dear mother tried to comfort me with, "Oh Rorie, don't worry, it's just an old piece of dishware," but I could tell she was disappointed. Yup, that was a bad day. Now if that isn't cringed worth enough, you will be pleased to find out what happened at my brother's wedding, hence why I want to hide in a hole for the rest of my life.

The wedding day had arrived, and this time I would have no dear mother to comfort me. My mother and father were dead; they died in a shipping accident almost a year ago. My father was a spice and tea merchant but his business was suffering due to pirate rids on many of the ships. When he saw his business was suffering greatly, he thought is best to seek help from our dear, dear, King Rolland. He went himself. It did not turn out well. He and my mother were both killed. Supposedly a pirate ship attacked them just outside of Primfield harbor and the royal guards were seconds too late to save them, or at least that's what King Rolland said in his letter. Yes! He actually sent us a personal letter, with his condolences. It didn't matter much then, but I think it's kind of cool now, though Kaylub says that King Rolland didn't really care about us, only the fact that he lost his favorite tea. I still think it was kind to send a personal letter to the family even though I never read it (Kaylub was so upset that he destroyed it). So Kaylub and I tarried on alone, Kaylub was eighteen when the former event took place and was fully capable of providing for us comfortably, though maybe not quite a comfortably as before. Kaylub was a smith, and after much hard work, scrimping, and saving he opened his own shop two months ago. We live together in a small house- that Kaylub bought with the money left from the shop -about two miles from town. I kept house, ran our small farm, and read. Since Kaylub was now to have a wife who would do all the boring stuff, I was looking forward to reading all the day long, (ok maybe I would help take care of Bacon, our wonderful hog, but that's it).