The death of me

 I sat on the outskirts of town holding Charlotte under my sweater, though its fabric was cold and damp it was the best I could do to protect her from the rain and the strong wind rolling in, I smiled, its almost funny how quickly things went downhill... how did I end up here? Starved with looks of a skeleton, disowned and wanted nothing except dead to anyone besides Charlotte. I looked down and kissed her forehead, she was warm to the touch of my lips, just enhancing the cruel aura of the rest of the world.. I was so thankful she was alive and that someone as pitiful as myself could hold her, she was still somewhat healthy, which was more then I could say for myself... Yes my heart still beats, harder and faster then it had any time before, but I knew it will have stopped soon, whether its that I starve, or freeze, or if they finally find me and finish what they started... I looked up, I was going to die, that I knew, but I couldn't let anything happen to Charlotte.. I lift her up despite that I barely had enough strength to carry my own body, she looks up at me "Alex.." and trails off , I continue walking with her in my arms away from town, she turns moving her legs to the ground mumbling "don't worry." I continue holding her up "don't be silly." She pulls her arms from me and steps forward, she freezes for a moment, I could tell it was hurting her, "see?" She looks back at me faking a smile "I'm fine.." She takes another step and falls I rush forward picking her up and glance at her leg, bloodied and scared both from habits I made her stop years ago and a recent attack from a few of the many people who wanted to kill me that left her beaten and bruised. I winced I should've just let our relationship remain the same, friends, But I couldn't help it, I loved her.. unfortunately though, because of that I should've just left her when I had done the little help that I had,  just look at everything that's happened to her because of me, she had a family that wanted her, she wasn't hurt, she was living her dreams on the road to success, now she's lucky to even be alive.. I looked up trying to make the tears stop, I couldn't have one of my pathetic breakdowns here...  I lifted her up whispering "theirs some train tracks down through there" I pointed towards a dense cloud of brambles "there's a lost box car over by them.." I continue walking when Charlotte protests, "we can't go through there!" I shake my head "no it's fine.. We have to get out of this field anyway.. It's way too open.." I walk into the forest trying to ignore the light poke of thorns dragging across my jeans. I'm moving at a calm pace and I haven't made it too far yet but I already feel exhausted, I wince trying to ignore it and take in a big breath, attempting to capture a little more air, I feel like I'm suffocating. My hole bodies shaking but I have to keep going, I close my eyes for a moment of relief and continue walking... exhausted I stop leaning against a tree, when I look down to see several small bushes, wild strawberry! "sit here alright." I tell Charlotte carefully putting her down I pick as many strawberries as I can fit into the gigantic pockets hanging off my pants and turn back lifting charlotte up, "great!" she announces "you really need some food!" I look up at the towering trees around us, "so do you..." I say quietly, I wouldn't be eating those berries.. she's going to need them all, and I'm dieing anyway, no point in wasting food on me.. I look ahead and see a clearing, I rush ahead lifting myself over a few logs, "here."  I look at the train tracks and the box car a few feet past them, Charlotte has buried herself into me, I hug her tightly and step up onto the tracks, I feel so sick.. I go ahead praying that I can stop moving for a while, when i get to the box car its a little less than what I was hoping for.. I stepped in and placed Charlotte down and sat next to her in the corner of the big cold box. I lean back and take a big breath in.. "alright. Dinner!" I reach into my pocket and grab the berries, a little squished yes, but food none the less... 8 exactly, I hand them all to Charlotte, she looks at me and hands them all back, "your eating these, Alex." I shake my head, "I'm fine I got them for you." I say placing them onto her lap, tears begin to pour from her eyes "ALEX! YOU AREN'T FINE!" she throws her hands over her face violently pulling the droplets away just so her face can become flooded again "your dieing! have you seen your self?! Your nothing but bones! You don't think I've noticed that you give all our food to me?! Alex you need to eat! I can't watch you disap-" I grab her face and press my lips against hers cutting her off, it was nothing but me and her in that moment, my fingertips grazed her cheeks, and when we released I just pulled myself back in.. when it finished again she lay her head against my chest, everything beautiful again "can we share them?" she asks I laugh "alright" I grab 6 of the berries and hand them to her as she bites into one she looks at me and scowls, "you gave me 6." I ignore her biting into mine she continues "that would mean you only have 2 and we said we said we'd half" she passes 2 back to me. "thanks.." I mumble.

We finish eating and we both lay down, I look into her blue-grey eyes and brush my fingers through her hair that runs from a clear white to a pale blue. She smiles, and as the sunshine bursts free it lights up my face as well. "I love your smile" I say, she laughs "you should see yours." we cuddle up together and I whisper "I'd die for you." she replies "I have no doubt about that. But if you die, even if its for me, I would still be killed," I close my eyes "goodnight."