The Burnin' and the Lootin'

BLOOD ON MY HANDS

Their 5 star safari lodge was buried deep in the Masai Mara National Reserve. This world famous wildlife park was home to the biggest and rarest animals on the planet. As an animal sanctuary, the park also acted as a quiet haven from the surrounding rural combat.

After breakfast we loaded up the Toyota Land Cruiser which seated 8 people very uncomfortably. With my dude The Love Doctor behind the wheel, we fit 2 large soldiers, their AK47s, the three guests, Nabs and myself... tight squeeze. The Love Doctor was one of my closest allies in the bush as we frequently shared long drives together. He was a quiet and intelligent cat from Nairobi with a consummate knowledge of both automotives and the ladies.

"Why are there soldiers coming with us?" The mom asked several times before I answered. "It is routine to have one. We are dropping the other one off at home... or something" I lied... or something. I think the jig was up, but moms said nothing further. In fact, it was a freakishly silent ride for 4 hours. We drove the backroads in order to avoid the burning, looting and murder that had increased in intensity along our go-to dirt road. And by backroads, I mean no roads. Nabs and The Love Doctor knew the area so well that they could navigate over farmland, through foot paths and across creeks in order to get us into the game reserve and back on a normal dirt road. It was a backbreaking ride and a true test for the vehicle. The family said nothing on route to their refuge. Upon arrival we hugged and made plans to meet up a week later in Nairobi for dinner before they were to head back to Canada.

To return to camp, The Love Doctor confirmed that I was onboard to take the normal route using the main dirt road. Naturally I was curious and figured my back could use the relief. We made our way through the park, driving by dazzles of zebras, towers of giraffes and parades of elephants. How could this majestic land of animal royalty be shared with such ungrateful and unjust savages? Out of the park we hit the dirt road and made our way through small Masai villages and acres of German owned farmland. It was at this point in my story, in my life, where I would come nose to nose with the devil. I would be exposed to true human iniquity that no number of movies or video games could have prepared me for. Not even Mortal Combat.

We began to see the smoke from a couple of kilometers back. Billows of black smog filled the air and as we neared, our premonitions became reality. An entire village amuck. Each of the 30+ cow dung huts ablaze and over 70 men rampaging with the adrenaline of starved Lions. They were tearing shit-a-part. Stealing literally everything they could find. Ripping corrugated tin roofing off schools, breaking down wooden doors of family homes, lighting thatch roofs on fire and fleeing with maize and livestock. These villains, the vast majority of which arrived on foot, lived a walking distance away. Neighbours stealing from neighbours. Poor stealing from poor. Ultimate desperation. And how about the people standing on the periphery? Were they the homeowners at the mercy of the mob? Were they onlookers without a purpose or helping hand?

We got out of the car and walked into the village, looking around in terror and disbelief. Our soldiers fired 3-4 rounds into the air drawing attention to our presence. The looters dropped what they were doing and scattered like a crowd of pigeons in a public square. Two gentlemen approached their motorbike which was parked next to us and the soldiers confronted them. They were out of breath as they had been messing around with a hut 20 meters in front of us. The hut was engulfed in flames and the men declared that there was a woman inside who was too proud and too determined not to let go. She locked herself inside with her possessions. One of the men told us that he fought and fought to free her from the circus of delinquents and had succeeded. But I'm not so sure... that door was still shut and the flames were growing. In retrospect, I assume that these men confronted us because they just didn't want to leave their ride behind. Was I watching a woman burn to her death inside her home? Was she alone!? Could I have done more? Is there blood on my hands?!? I was standing safely behind the soldiers and by now the crazed machete wielding antagonists had all disappeared into the hills. I remember a sense of numbness overtaking my head... I was so confused and ultimately I was upset. I can't remember what happened next.

Out in the wild there is no such thing as emergency services. The closest hospital was 2 hours away by car and the closest fire truck might as well have been in Europe. So once the savages had fled for good, and the flames reduced enough to reveal their ruins, we drove on and left tragedy behind.

Within minutes of pushing on, we came across 2 men. They were about 100 meters off of the road walking through a field. They were carrying tin roofing and a sack of maize, heading home. The Love Doctor exchanged words with the soldiers and turned to me quickly for permission. The soldiers had had enough and wanted justice. They wanted to know if we could go after the thieves and at this point I was so heartbroken I said "Go!". Love Doctor slammed the gas pedal to the floor and shot the vehicle forward. As the engine roared the 2 dog-fuckers turned to see our car disband from the dirt road and beeline towards them. They dropped their loot and ran at the speed of cartoon characters because like Ice Cube (almost) said, "AK bullets are bad for your health". The soldiers leaned their upper bodies out of the windows and were yelling at the cowards to stop. Around cacti over termite mounds and full speed ahead, we were no more than 10 feet from these douche bags when the Cruiser dropped nose-first into a ditch and clunked out. As the rest of us caught our breath, the soldiers continued on foot, firing off their rifles in the air and trying to catch the goons who now had a healthy lead.

Opportunity lost. We regrouped in silence outside of the vehicle, staring off into the bush where the 2 men had disappeared. Some time passed before we collectively pushed the Cruiser out of the ditch and back on flat ground. The vehicle was fine, and though our spirits felt empty, we got back on the road and headed for home.

If this nightmare wasn't bad enough, next came the black cherry to put on top. Remember the village we saw aflame from the mountaintop a day earlier? We had to now drive past it as we approached our camp... and it was devastating. Again, about a half kilometer from where we lived was this quaint and quiet farming village. A really small community that kept to themselves and bothered nobody. As we drove by, the children who were usually out pushing tires with a stick or kicking a ball of plastic bags, were nowhere to be found. All that was left in their place were piles of smoking cow-dung-mortar and the bare frame of a completely incinerated car.

All this time the wealthy politicians were sitting securely back in Nairobi upon their cushioned thrones, in air conditioned mansions, eating hot meals and drinking cold beer. They did nothing sensible as their misled disciples fought senseless battles and destroyed the lives of their neighbours. Shame.