Envision The Magic [Frerard] [By innocent_wolves on LJ]

Chapter Eleven

Suddenly, as though the winter season had snapped its magical fingers, the Christmas holidays were upon them and the cruise went through a major makeover. Frank had to assist throughout the entire revamping process and he could guarantee that decorating a cruise ship for Christmas was an absolute bitch. He didn't even dare to think about the day when they had to take it all down. Then again, the final result was impressively stunning.

Stylish Christmas trees could be seen on every deck, while The Colossus and The Sparkle in particular were carefully draped in the most magnificent tinsel and bauble decorations you could ever imagine. In fact, it didn't matter where you turned because you could spot a little piece of Christmas everywhere; everything from the food to the shows to the excursions to the music played in the elevators was themed accordingly. The icing on the cake, for the children at least, was probably the fact that one of the larger conference rooms had been turned into Santa's workshop, complete with a rented Santa, a Mrs. Santa, and a handful of elves. It was like an extra ambitious camp for children and a mini Christmas Town mixed together. There was definitely no holding back on the Christmas spirit aboard the Envision Destiny.

It seemed to Frank as if the new slogan had been turned into Everything is up for decoration, because the staff didn't escape all the glitter either. Everyone at the bar had to wear Santa hats at work. Their usual black and neutral vests were replaced with cheery red ones, including a bright green bow tie to go with it. They also received custom made name tags spiced up with holly, and alongside the regular peanuts and salted sticks they offered peppermint candy canes prettied up with ribbons. Everything was in all honesty incredibly cheesy and commercial, and Frank had to admit that at first he couldn't help but feel like an elf of some ridiculous kind. He knew that if he'd witnessed this only a couple of years earlier, he would have thought the whole thing to be nothing more than plain stupidity. But now that he was standing there in his Santa hat, serving happy guests eggnog and gingerbread men, Frank knew that if it had been requested of him he wouldn't mind doing this for another week. The holidays took a cruise ship with an already great atmosphere to an even higher level, and he enjoyed it very much.

This year, Frank was also in for the best present he'd ever received; he would be spending this cruise with Caden and Lisa. Due to the holidays the price rates for tickets dropped, and in a moment of inspiration he'd tried to combine them with his discount for family members; it was one of the few perks that applied to all Envision staff. To his slight surprise, Frank found out that he could actually pull that off. On top of everything Caden had a special discount since he was only six, which in the end left him with very attractive tickets. He figured that if Lisa could afford one half of the price, he'd offer to pay for the other. Of course she'd dug her heels in the ground and refused when he made the suggestion.

"What, are you insane?" she exclaimed. "Frank â no. I can't possibly let you do that for us, it's way too much â"

"Oh, come on," Frank interrupted her. "I've made a genius move here, I need some recognition for this! These are awesome, cheap tickets â not typical for Envision at all. You're the insane one if you don't take them. And honestly, have you guys ever been on a cruise before?"

She hesitated, biting her lip. "Never," she admitted.

"See? You're missing out. Come on, Lisa; it'll be fun," he promised. "Besides, Caden turns seven later this month, right? So look at it as a birthday present in advance. It'll be a huge experience for him, he's gonna have a blast."

"Wellâ€Â¦" she began thoughtfully, "I can probably afford them without having to split the bill with you though. I do have some money saved up, and I guess it wouldn't hurt to use them. If I can –"

Frank shook his head, cutting her off again.

"Look, I know we're this weird mix of single-slash-divorced-slash-reunited parents – or whatever you wanna call it. I know you feel like you're accepting gifts from a stranger right now but in the end, we're family, no matter how we decide to do things. And I'd like to take care of the both of you as well, in some way or another, and for me, this is part of that. It's not because I feel like I have to or anything. Just let me do it, okay? Please? I really want you guys to come."

In the end, Lisa finally gave in, and as expected, Caden took the news with great enthusiasm. In so many ways this Christmas would be completely different than any other Christmases he'd ever sat through; Frank knew it and he looked forward to it.

***

It was the second day of the holiday cruise and White Christmas was flowing out from the speakers, very subtly and carefully wrapping the lounge outside the dining room in snugness, setting a sort of sleepy but content mood for the day.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, but these other guys just wouldn't stop talking about the Ice cruise."

Jill's rosy cheeks were competing with her rapid speech; she hadn't been at the bar when Frank had shown up, and he was usually the last one to get to where he was supposed to be. The fact that she was running late this time seemed to have stressed her out more than it should.

"That's okay, it's still early," Frank replied in the most reassuring tone he could muster. He adjusted his Santa hat, checking his reflection in the mirror behind the bar and trying to get the hat to sit a little crooked, like he'd just casually put it on.

"God, I hate being late," she muttered, glancing at her own reflection, almost pushing him out of the way as she started fussing with her hair and bowtie. "I hate it. I've never been late, not even once."

"Don't worry about it, I've hardly seen a soul so far. So, what's the deal about the Ice?" he asked, changing the topic for her sake.

"Oh, someone was just telling me about the bars over there," Jill said, fastening her name tag to her vest. "Sounds way too good to be true if you ask me but anyway; you know how they say that the entire Ice design is purely crystal white and blue, like everything's winter themed?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I was told that their bars are the coolest bars in the entire history of Envision cruises," she added, and even though she claimed she didn't believe it, she wasn't quite able to conceal the excitement in her voice. "And I mean the coolest, literally speaking. Most of the glassware is said to be shaped out of ice. Of course, I have no idea if it's actually like that."

"Okay, wow," Frank laughed, struggling to get his own name tag straight, "I hope their route includes a couple of reasonably cold places, because that would be so inconvenient otherwise. Like, suddenly all your glassware has fucking melted. And I hope they give out gloves to go with those drinks. Not sure what they do about all those numb lips though."

"I hate to be a buzz kill here," someone suddenly cut in, interrupting them, "but that's not true."

It was like receiving an electric shock. Frank's heart made a violent jump; he could recognize that voice anywhere, at any given time. He spun around, almost losing his Santa hat in the hurry; it slid a couple inches off his head, ending up way more crooked than he'd arranged it, some of the white fake fur falling into his eyes. As he clumsily pulled the hat back into place he found himself staring into Gerard's familiar face. The two of them looked at each other for a few hesitant seconds, before Gerard took a seat on a bar stool.

"About the glassware, I mean," he continued, his voice the same, casual drawl, acting as if nothing had changed and that he hadn't been gone for several months at all. "The winter themed design too. Utter bullshit. Maybe Destiny could pull something like that off, but not Ice. Not even a chance. By the way, nice hat, Frankie. I dare say it’s a little too big for you, or maybe your hair's just slippery, but yeah. Cute."

He shot him a bored, soulless wink. Although Frank knew he was blushing violently, he couldn't think of anything to say; he would have to get his feelings sorted and his head wrapped around the situation first. Instead he just looked at him, taking in the features of his face, his dark, messy hair and his general paleness, which seemed more obvious now than ever before. It struck him that Gerard looked tired. That was the biggest change about him; he looked very tired. The shadows beneath his eyes were darker, his skin a little bit paler and his cheeks just a thought hollower. He seemed extremely bored and almost void of energy, although that apparently didn't impair his voice or the sarcasm in it.

"Well, uhm, welcome back, Gerard," Jill said, looking just as astonished as Frank felt, frowning over his sudden reappearance, "and merry Christmas to you too, I guess. I didn't even know you were aboard."

"No, I stayed low yesterday. Oh, and yeah," he snorted sarcastically, his lips drawn back to shape a brief, emotionless smile, "merry fucking Christmas. You know, back to the Ice; that cruise doesn't deserve even one lousy third of the juicy gossip it gets. You have no idea just how fucking boring it is. I don't know why the company keeps it. Such a waste of money."

Jill glanced at Frank and gave him a meaningful look, while struggling to hold back the tiniest of smiles; she'd been right about the fact that the Culture ships weren't Gerard's type.

"Hey, maybe you'd like some eggnog?" she asked brightly. "I can guarantee that it's pretty good. Best we've had yet."

"I bet it's amazing and that it would knock me right off this very chair," he replied tonelessly, "but I would prefer a Bourbon, thanks."

"Alright then, Bourbon it is," Jill sighed.

She was pouring up his drink just when a small group of foreign guests stopped by the bar, and in poor English they were trying to communicate to her their long list of orders. She absently slid the drink towards Gerard and turned away to tend to them. Frank immediately grabbed the opportunity.

"Who was responsible for your transfer?" he asked directly, lowering his voice and edging away from Jill. "Or was this entire thing on you?"

He noticed how he almost felt nervous about addressing him and how hesitant he was in front of him, but he tried to be a good actor and conceal it. It was as if the time Gerard had been away turned him into a stranger again, but for some reason that didn't appear to be very far from the truth. He did seem a bit different.

Gerard just looked at him for a long, thoughtful moment, his eyes moving across the features of his face, almost wanting to check if they actually matched up to be the Frank he'd met before.

"And what's changed you these past months?" he asked slowly instead, narrowing his eyes at him, looking slightly suspicious.

Frank was a little surprised that he could actually tell that he'd changed. He hadn't noticed this himself, but since he became a father he'd heard from several people that something about him was different. They could never put their finger on it or point out something concrete, but everyone said he'd changed somehow. Apparently, fatherhood started leaving its traces at the moment of onset, but no one had referred to these early changes as something bad in any way. It was rather becoming, they said, whatever it was. Just about everyone seemed to think that the changes in Frank were of the positive kind – except for Gerard, who was just suspicious.

"What's changed you?" Frank asked, throwing the question back at him and keeping his determined stare.

Gerard sat back, slowly folding his arms across his chest, still with that tiny doubtful shade resting on his face.

"The transfer was for my own protection," he told him in the end, shrugging casually. "I was afraid you'd go ahead and drown me, like you said you would. I feared for my life, so I had to get away. What else?"

"Cut the fucking crap, Gerard," Frank retorted, starting to feel mightily annoyed with this moody and lifeless being sitting in front of him. "Can't you just give me a straight answer, for once?"

"That is a straight answer," he insisted, swallowing down a large gulp of his whiskey; it must have burned intensely as it splashed down his throat but he didn't even pull so much as the slightest face at it.

"You knew you were going to another cruise, didn't you? I bet you did."

"No, I didn't," Gerard claimed passionlessly, glancing around at everybody else than the man standing in front of him. He looked like he was starting to get bored with this conversation. "Not really. If you have to know, it was the management that decided to transfer me. They wanted to raise the standards and bring some valuable publicity to their less 'classy' liners." He took the bother to raise a hand and make a lazy air quote. "They figured I was up for the challenge. Honestly, I don't really care where they send me just as long as I get paid. And since I'm back I guess no circus troupes or whatever could beat my show. I'm fucking Santa Claus for Envision. I bet they'd clone me if they could."

Frank moved impatiently on the spot.

"Yeah, well, boo-fucking-hoo, too bad for you and your tough life," he said bitterly, not able to keep it to himself. "Bottom line is, I don't believe you. I think this whole transfer business was your doing. Why would Envision cut their main attraction loose from their most successful cruise? Come on, that makes no sense. I bet you were the one who wanted to move ships and no one even expected it. I'd just like to know why."

Gerard regarded him for a minute, almost looking a little impressed, his whiskey glass hovering hesitantly in front of his lips. Yet again his eyes narrowed into two contemplative slits.

"Well, Frankie," he said at last, smiling crookedly for the first time since he'd showed up, "you've certainly grown a bigger mouth while I was away. I suggest you put that skill to better use rather than bitching at me."

He leaned in a little closer and now his smile had vanished completely. Something menacing had been ignited in his eyes and it made Frank pull back slightly.

"And it seems like you've thought about this way too much. I figured you'd have let this bullshit go by now but I guess I was wrong." He slid his half empty glass towards him, keeping their eyes locked, as though to emphasize his words. "It shouldn't matter to you if I'm on this fucking boat or not."

Frank opened his mouth to reply but closed it again when he noticed that Lisa and Caden had entered the lounge. Caden immediately ran excitedly towards the Christmas tree, while Lisa shouted "Sweetie, be careful so you don't break anything!" after him. When she eventually approached the bar she immediately caught Gerard's attention; he turned towards her, arching an eyebrow slightly. He measured her up and down for a second and before she got the chance to talk, he cut in before her.

"I'm thinking… a sweet Martini might be suitable for this one here, Jill." His index finger was circling Lisa in. "Make it pink and sparkly. Maybe it's a little early, but –"

"Oh, uhm, no," Lisa stuttered in pure surprise when she realized he was talking about her. The refusal left a somewhat confused expression on Gerard's face; he wasn't used to that and his pointed finger stopped making circles, making him freeze in a momentary pose that looked very comical. "Thanks, but no thanks," she continued. "It's a little early, you're right." She sent him a nervous smile, before she quickly looked at Frank, her eyes slightly alarmed.

"Hey, Lisa, maybe you want some eggnog?" Frank asked her, trying hard to keep his voice even and hide his amusement. Not only had she turned him down but she didn't seem to have a clue that he was a semi-famous illusionist. He could feel that the smile on his face was far too wide so he bit his lip, preventing himself from breaking out into a laugh.

Gerard's eyes shot back at him as soon as he realized that they knew each other. Frank ignored him, just barely registering that he swiftly and almost unnoticeably had reached for his whiskey glass again.

"No thanks," Lisa declined politely and shook her head, "nothing for me. We're having breakfast now anyway and later we're gonna see Santa. We just wanted to stop by and say hello."

"Hey, Dad!"

Caden came running towards them. He had a pair of flashing LED sneakers on, making tiny red and blue light shows shoot against the carpet every time he set his feet down. His hooded sweater had, of course, a cartoon print of Optimus Prime versus Megatron on the front, which Frank liked to think was some kind of nod of affection towards him. Caden almost always insisted on wearing something that had to do with Transformers every time they were together, as if that was something special that only the two of them shared. Lately Frank had caught himself looking for adult sized Transformers t-shirts online, just so he could match up to that. He made a mental note about ordering a couple of those. That'd be fun. Lisa caught their son and swung him up on one of the bar stools.

"Hey, there's my partner," Frank grinned, reaching out across the counter and ruffling his hair. "So how do you like my hat, do I look anything like Santa now?"

"Nooo!" Caden laughed loudly, almost screaming. "Dad, you don't even have a beard!"

Out of the corner of his eye Frank noticed how Gerard had looked up from his drink again, his eyes moving slowly from Lisa to Caden, before his gaze finally rested on him. Then he turned slightly away. His face remained impressively expressionless and the rest of his body didn't give away whether or not he found this awkward or uncomfortable, but the fact that he was still sitting there doing nothing revealed that he understood the picture; it just didn't add up. Now he was quietly trying to figure out what kind of scene that was playing out right in front of his eyes.

"Hey, guess what?" the six year old continued, safe and sound in his own bubble of excitement.

"What, buddy?"

"I'm going to see Santa today!" he exclaimed, kicking his legs a little.

"I bet you are," Frank said, before he leaned closer and lowered his voice, like he was about to tell him a secret. "But isn't Santa real busy these days? How come he's got the time to visit us on this ship?"

"But, Dad, that Santa isn't real," Caden replied, suddenly dead serious. "I know he's just someone in a suit, because how else can he be at the mall and here all at once? The real Santa is at the North Pole, getting our presents ready, and all the other Santas just work for him. He's acting through someone else." He gave him a look that said "duh" so clearly that Frank had to laugh.

"Okay, but if you know this isn't the real Santa then why are you so excited about seeing him?" he asked, amused by the kid's logic.

"Just because," the boy shrugged lightly, giving him a typically childish response that he assumed explained it all and smiled widely.

"He's acting through someone else?" Lisa repeated, staring incredulously at him. "Where did you hear that, Caden; on the news? Because if you did then I'm obviously letting you stay up too late." She shook her head with a smile and bent down to kiss the boy's cheek. "But either way, you still need your breakfast first, whether you want it or not. Come on, sweetie."

"Hang on," Frank said and picked a red and white peppermint candy cane out of the jar on the counter. "I'm gonna let you have this," he told his son, putting an index finger sternly up in the air as the boy eagerly reached out and tried to snatch it out of his hand, "but – whoa, wait a minute, listen to me first – you can only eat it after you've had breakfast, okay? And be nice today, do what your Mom says. Promise?"

"Promise," Caden nodded, his eyes shining as he finally received the candy cane. "Thanks, Dad!"

"Oh, and tell Santa that your Dad would like a couple extra days off work," he joked, as the boy jumped down from the bar stool, his shoes blinking merrily the moment they hit the floor. "And maybe a raise."

"Alright, see you later, Frank," Lisa laughed. "Bye, Jill!"

She grabbed Caden by the hand and guided him out of the room. The boy was skip hopping beside her, creating blue and red disco lights against the fabric of her white jeans.

"Oh, my God, Frank. Caden is so adorable," Jill said dreamily, looking after them. "Now I wish I had a son – and I don't even like kids all that much."

On the other side of the counter, Gerard had fallen into a contemplative silence. Frank picked up a cloth and randomly started rubbing a wine glass, perfectly sensing how those hazel eyes were almost burning their way into his skin. He still hadn't said anything and Frank didn't encourage it. If he was looking for explanations he didn't deserve them. If he was confused then fine; he had nothing more to offer than rudeness anyway, he'd already proved that. Eventually he got up from the stool.

"Thanks for the drink, Jill," he said shortly, nodding at her and ignoring Frank, before he strolled out of the lounge.

"Seriously, what's eating him?" Jill asked quietly, frowning at the magician's back as it disappeared out of sight.

"Who?" Frank asked innocently.

"Gerard. Seems like he's turned into Scrooge."

"I have no idea," he shrugged. "I guess he just hates Christmas."

***

In the following couple of days, Gerard continued to ignore Frank completely. He didn't insult him when he came to the bar; he didn't even so much as spare him a glance. Even though he was hiding behind his usual brilliant mask of "I am an Envision celebrity and I generally don't give a fuck", he didn't really say all that much. There were moments where he forgot to keep his guard up and slipped into his own absent and gloomy world; his eyes would become unfocused and he'd look beyond everything and everyone, staring into something only he could see, and he didn't seem to be aware of the fact that he was doing it. Now and then Frank spotted him together with a handful of different girls and the occasional guys, but never too often and never with the same person twice. So he was still keeping up his self-appointed role as Envision's very own Casanova, but then again, what else was new. The only thing that had changed about that aspect was how unenthusiastic and bored he looked with his admirers clinging to his arm. He'd used to take a certain kind of pride in that, or at least given everyone the impression that he did. Now he just didn't seem to care.

"Okay, whatever," Frank muttered to himself whenever he saw him stroll by with a new girl on his arm.

Eventually he realized how much truth there actually was in that little word; whatever. Regardless of Gerard's sulking, he was enjoying the Christmas cruise immensely. The ship was filled with the happiest and liveliest selection of guests he'd ever had the pleasure to meet, and better yet, his son was aboard.

Imagine that; Frank Iero, the guy who'd never been interested in thinking twice about having kids, if thinking about it at all, was there with his soon to be seven year old son, a kid who actually looked up to him. Sometimes he truly felt like he was just a regular young man enjoying a cruise ship holiday together with his family. It was a genuinely wonderful feeling.

Yeah, whatever, Gerard, he thought to himself. Whatever.