Not Today

Prologue

         Today, I thought I'd try something new. Try. It's the effort that counts, right? Try. I've always tried, but it seems like I always talk myself out of it before I get the opportunity. The assignment I left on my History teacher's desk that Joanna Collins picked right back up and scribbled her name on to turn in for herself, then turned to me with an innocent smile and asked, "You don't mind, right?" I know I should've puffed my chest and punched that bimbo square in her jaw. Not today, my mind said, causing me to glance down at her stupid Valentino pumps that cost more than all the contents of my bedroom, turn on the heels of my torn up all-stars, and rush back to my seat. It seemed people knew I was never one to protest anything. I sit at lunch, accompanied by only my turkey and lettuce sandwich, along with a water and small package of crackers. "You don't mind if I have this, right?" An unfamiliar fellow who reeked of cigarettes, cologne and sweat asked as he tugged my brown paper lunch bag from my shaky hands. The first thought that ran through my mind was to kick him where the sun doesn't shine, take my bag and make my getaway, but of course, my mind says not today.  My head fell to glance at his shoes, which appeared to be cleats of some sort, covered in dirt and vibrant grass stains. I turned once again on the heels of my torn up all-stars, and made my way out of the cafeteria, empty handed. Sometimes, I wish I'd act on my initial thoughts, but all the thoughts that follow it scream 'Not Today'.