one more day

2

I woke up even more sore than I was when I'd fallen asleep. or blacked out. Either one was a possibility each night.

The blood on the sheets that were fresh only last night, were now seeped in and faded a bit. I had no idea which part of my body it came from.

I managed to lift my heavy body off of the bed, feeling pain everywhere and I had the bruises as proof.. But those were no problem, I learned early on, how to cover those up with a few dabs of foundation.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I let the water warm up. 'ugly' 'fatass' 'emo' 'freak' 'attention seeker'. For me, the words hurt more than my fathers actions, he never disrespected me in the way that the kids at school had. Granted, the actions may be worse in other peoples opinions but not to me. I felt better, knowing he at least knew I actually existed. Maybe I was just trying to justify his actions. Deep down, i still believed my dad was somewhere.

The pressure of the water felt like knife stabs when it hit my bruises and I watched the mixture of dirt and blood run down the drain. Every morning was the same for me.

My dad was never home, and on occasions when he was, he was either passed out or hibernating in his room. Probably too ashamed to look at me for fear he'd actually feel bad for what took place the night before.

At first, i'd always try my hardest to make my appearance a bit more appealing, hoping that maybe, hopefully, the kids at my school would actually not stare for once, not whisper when I walked past them in the hallway. But at this point, it seemed that nothing worked. And even if I didn't cover these bruises, nobody would notice, and if they did, they wouldn't care so why should I?

I left the house without eating, just as I always had. I didn't bother putting anything over the dark purple, blackish blemishes that flooded my arm.

The halls were always full when I arrived, considering I had to walk to school every morning and it was a good 25 minutes from where I lived. But hey, I needed the exercise anyway.. or so they say.

People would stop and stare just like every morning, first they'd stare, analyze, then they'd whisper. Sometimes I heard them, 'check out freak show today.' 'did her nose get bigger over night?' along with their crude shrieks of laughter.

I waited near Emily's locker like I did almost every morning but she never showed. Until about 30 minutes later when I saw her walking past with a group of friends I had never seen her around before. "Emily!" I called her, waving her over.

All she did was slightly turn her head towards me, eyeing me, before continuing to walk with her small crowd. ouch.

-

Thank God the day was over. Well school day. It absolutely sucked. Emily never talked to me once.

During lunch she sat at a different table, leaving me no where and with no one to sit with.. The bathroom stall wasn't too bad though... It suited me.

What had I done wrong? Why all of a sudden now was she acting different?? I cried, a lot once I had gotten home.

And then came the cherry on top of it all.

Somebody pounded on the door, for a good 5 solid minutes but my dad obviously wasn't gonna come out of his room and all the way downstairs just to get it so i had to.

I swung it open to find a crazy haired, skin and bones woman standing on our front steps.

"mom?" I felt my eyes begin to water as I took in her full appearance. Her clothes were so raggedy and tattered, her eyes wide with large bags underneath to accompany them. She looked so sick and I knew exactly what she came here for.

"Livey!" she tried to sound excited but her voice just crackled and came out croaky. She attempted to step in the house.

"Just hold on." I stepped in front of her, "I'll be back with.. him." I said referring to the man upstairs. But once I turned around he was already right there.

"Well what the hell do you want?" He almost yelled at her.

"Thomas, I just need a few dollars please. I know you have money. I'll do anything." she said, overstepping her boundaries and caressing his face. "Don't you miss me?" she smiled a devilish grin.

He grabbed her hand and flung it away from him, "don't touch me whore. and we don't have anything. get out."

I began to walk away as I could see how this was gonna turn out.

"Oh please Thom!" she begged getting on her knees, attempting to persuade him over.

"oh my god." I gasped as I watched him slap her to the ground. "DAD!" he kicked her side and I ran over to cover her. "Dad stop!!" I yelled as I laid over her, trying to protect her from his steel-toed-boots.

"FUCK." he yelled, walking away and throwing his, now empty, beer bottle at the living room wall.

The glass shattered causing a loud noise joined by my mother who was now doubled over, wailing in pain, clutching her side. "Get the fuck out." He came back dragging her by her hair out onto the steps. "Fuck" was all he could say to himself as he slammed the door in her face, leaving her weeping and in pain.

"what the fuck." I could feel myself begin to cry for about the hundredth time today.

I trudged slowly up the stairs, allowing the tears to just flow down my face. How? How could he do that to someone he 'loved' or at least used to.

I didn't know what to do but my first instinct was to call Emily. I grabbed my phone.

wait.

she doesn't want to talk to me.

I have to call her. Shes the only one that understands.

No. Don't.

Too late.

The phone rang only twice before she answered. Okay, maybe she didn't hate me.

"E-Em-Em-Emily" I got out between my hard sobs and loud panting.

"Hey Olive!" she said nonchalantly.

"Em please, I-I need to co-come over."

"Sorry, I wish but i'm not even home right now. But what's up though?"

"My mom came again, she-she asked for money and my dad lost it. Tonight would be the worst night for him to hit me. Please Emily." My cries became louder at the thought of what he'd do.

"sorry dude, i'm at a party."

"Emil-Emily why are you being like this? I thought you were my best friend? You-you've always been there."

"Exactly!" her voice grew louder and louder over the phone, "I'm always there for you Olivia. It's tiring okay? I have a life too, I cant babysit you 24/7. You're fuckin' 18. You can leave ya know! Don't like your circumstances? change em."

"You know I have no money."

"SO GET A DAMN JOB!" she said angrily, "look just because your life is shitty doesn't mean you have to make mine shitty too."

I wasn't loud anymore but the tears were still falling, except now there were more. My heart absolutely broke, shattered into a thousand pieces. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt that way."

She hung up without saying another word.

There she goes.

She was my one escape, the one and only person I could confide in, the one person I thought actually cared for me.

Silly me for thinking she would actually stick around.

Silly me for thinking anyone would stick around me.

I grabbed the lighter from my nightstand, removing my pants and pretty soon the room smelled of burning flesh. The pain was awful, but it kept my mind off of today.

The physical pain was more bearable than the emotional. It was just too much for me.

Part 2. Please vote and comment your thoughts, feelings, feedback. love you guyssss :))