There will come a time in your life when somebody will make you realize that you are not the best of what you do, that you are not as witty as you used to be, that you are not as incredible as they expected you to be. When that time comes, what reaction is there to offer?
Will you feel devastated after learning the fact that you have unconsciously become complacent of how things were, around you? Will you feel cheated after thinking that life just slapped the truth right at your face? Will you turn your back at someone who made the worst day of your life just because they were in fact better than your current state? Or rather, will you accept your failure and move on?
Will you take the challenge to turn this situation into your favor again?
I can't really say what the best reaction anyone could give at this point is, I don't even know if it is right to say someone's opinion is wrong at all. In time, the final phase will be the one telling us whether we choose the best decision or not.
Who could have imagined thinking highly of myself can be this devastating, until I came to this point of realization in life. This was actually my first heartbreak after a long time. All this time, I have thought of myself as one of the best in everything; Singing, Writing, Academics, Family, Material Things: name it all. I don't literally boast about it especially in front of other people but I feel really different about myself when I am alone. Ironic, isn't it?
But I guess that's the main reason why arrogance has put its verdict upon me.
Arrogance.
I have never expected this to be my down fall. I thought, never have I ever boast about any material things on others, nor did I make fun of someone because of their weaknesses and insecurities. I bet, thinking that you are not arrogant is arrogance at all. It saddened me when I realized how foolish I am believing that superficial boasting is just the only face of arrogance.
I feel so ashamed of myself.
And that brought me here.
It got me thinking endlessly on how things turned out this bad in my life. The things that I used to enjoy are now gone: Family, Money, Fame, Friends, Skills, Academics, and now Confidence. Yes, I slowly watched them part ways with me. I suffered bit by bit just accepting the fact that I no longer have them. It hurts. It sucks. It drives me crazy.
Those things that I thought would stay with me forever, didn't reach the end of the race with me, instead, they disappeared, and left me hanging while running this race.
Alone and left behind, I was confused if I could still run, I kept looking back, back in the days when I still hold them in my arms. I kept looking back, wishing that this was only a nightmare. But I tripped, slipped, stumbled and fell down. It hurt me so bad and was woken up by the truth, that those were just part of my past.
Now, I have nothing: nothing to win the race, nothing to motivate me run the race. Everything is just, nothing. I lost my strength, closely, I lost the wit to run.
I was like an infant being abandoned by her parents, hungry and dirty.
This phase continues for almost, like forever. Yes, it feels like forever.
Until now, I am still in the verge of getting back on track, but no one knows until when it will last, until when I will last.
