What's the Fun in a Two Way Street?

I surveyed my work. I considered it satisfactory in most cases. Corpses were strewn from the pyramid to the bloodied falls like fleshy ragdolls. I was a bit put down that none of them cared to join in on all the fun, but I respected their collective decision to go with the alternative.

I still couldn't believe that that idiot Stanley Pines and my oldest puppet expected any good to come from their little switcheroo. It was almost adorable to watch them try. They seemed to think that my extensive knowledge of all there is to know excluded the ability count fingers. In any case, I was overjoyed they did. Their ignorance led to the pleasure of my disintegrating of Stanley's heart and bones as his braniac brother watched. I still had the two little thorns in my side under wraps, and their screams gave me a true pleasure like only the beauty of twin agony can.

"That, I have got to say, was probably one of the best performances I've ever seen. I was really feeling it! Lemme tell ya, if this crusty old bag of flesh wasn't a pile of carcass, you two could probably do some spot on improv!"

I found it rude that Stanford didn't seem to appreciate my complement. He just laid there and cried. The kids didn't seem any better. Shooting Star wasn't even conscious anymore. Humans and their weak hearts, prone to flop at something as trivial as a dead family member.

It was all I could not to crack up at the pure helplessness that radiated off Sixer. The irony of it all! If he'd just let me tutor his mind into a state of insanity from the gettgo, back when I was his "Muse" or whatever he called it, none of this would have happened! I planned to let him know it.

"Oh my poor little puppet." I sighed shrinking down to put a comforting arm around his shoulders. He had no energy to retaliate.

"Tell me you don't see some kind of karma in all this? You were a tad selfish back when. Think about it now; if you'd just let me into you mind, your thickheaded idiot of a brother might not be a puddle! Now I'm going to give you another chance here, since I'm such a generous guy and you've helped me so much with all this..." I gestured to my pride and joy, the chaos of Gravity Falls, Oregon. "If you give me that equation I promise that I will not harm or murder either of these little miscreants no matter how much it tempts me."

Sixer finally looked up. His face was awful, all puffy and red. I'd never seen him looking so wonderful. I saw nothing but agony and sadness and fear, my three favorite feelings to name besides "pain". Not even a hint of a fight. I suppose I took that as my cue.

"Do we have a deal?" My hand caught fire as I extended my arm. I had no doubts now. Nobody else knew it, but my hand only lights up when my negotiator is about to except. Anything beyond that is just killing time until my deal is set. The time killer this time around was probably my favorite.

"If I accept..." When he accepts, I thought to myself. His voice was thin and pitiful and music to my ears.

"Please just..." he looked over at the kids, one unconscious and one tearstained and panicked. He sighed, all his energy leaving him in one breath.

"Kill me. Don't torture me any longer than you already have. I'm old and I'm done. Just do that." I couldn't hold it in any longer. Laughter bubbled up and out, relieving my chest of its burden. I burst into hysterics, tears building at the corners of my eye. This could not have possibly gone better! With joy still caught in my voice, I answered more honestly than I would've thought possible;

"Buddy, I wouldn't have it any other way!"

With one last longing glance back at the kids, one of which was sobbing, he extended his hand and took hold of mine. It sent shivers up my back to have those six fingers back in the grasp of my four. This was it. It was really happening. My physical form morphed into stone as I pulled myself from it. Not as good as a human body in any case. It still couldn't feel pain.