Hold Me Tighter

June 12th, 2014(Part one)

June 12th, 2014. What do I really have to say about this day? It was the start of the worst week of my life and it wasn't even a Monday. I woke up that day at 6:30 like I always did. It was the last day of the school year and I was officially done with middle school.  

You may ask why I am starting so far back with my journal. That, my friend, is because my therapist told me to start with the traumatic experience that led to my depression. This traumatic experience was the death of my grandfather, but that wouldn't happen until three days later. 

This day, my grandfather was in the hospital, so on my way out the door to go to the bus stop, I kissed my grandmother on the cheek. I had been living with my grandparents for two years at this point. My mother was living just down the street from us. Anyway, I said goodbye to my grandmother and started down the street to the bus stop. There, already waiting were a few sixth graders and a seventh grader. I was the only eighth grader at that particular stop. We all stood in silence waiting for the bus to arrive and once it did we all got on. 

The bus was sectioned according to grade level. Sixth graders in the front, seventh in the middle and eighth in the back. I took my seat in the very back of the bus and put in my earbuds, careful to not let any one see me with my phone out, as it was against the bus rules and began to listen to music. I put my phone in my pocket and watched as the houses and trees moved quickly by the window. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out, looking at the message from one of my best friends, Zia. She is a freshman this year, I was sad when she left me for the high school but I got over it. 

Hey girl, last day of school! WHOO!

I read the text message, chuckling to myself at her excitement. I, myself, was excited for school to finally be over but not very excited to go home at the end of the day, fore I knew that I wouldn't like what I would come home to.