It was the year 69 b.c and there was a war between the birds and humans. It was called the war of the flying assholes because humans have a sense of humor. But one day a new ruler arrived named Ian the first and he would bring peace between human and bird kind. With his big old diiiiiiiiiiick and sexist, racist and overall offensive af jokes.
In his search for peace Ian decided to go to the top of the dick of the world the highest and most densely vegetated area of the land. There he decided to shout at the bird gods as goes: You fucking nigger faggots you assholes should help me end this fucking war we haven't eaten a single cracker in like a year dudes this is bullshit. And then the gods after jerking off decided to get off their asses and help a brother out and send a bird/ human hybrid to negotiate peace or destroy the humans. That creatures name was birdman (or Cristopher depending who asked).
And so men and birds finally lived in harmony again and the cracker supply was restored. After peace was settled birdman felt empty and useless but then he was offered a position in the bird army as general and personal body guard for Ian the first. After thousands of years Ian and birdman got bored af and decided to infiltrate into human society
