DRIFTED |Harry Styles|

CHAPTER 37

HARRY'S P.O.V.

I should have fucking known better. Loving someone was only a guarantee that it would bring death upon themselves. Everyone I loved was dammed and I knew it, I was just fooling myself into thinking that this time would be different.

I've already lost my mom at this account and I was surprised that I had yet to receive a phone call telling me that Gemma was found dead in a ditch somewhere.

Why did I have to lose the only person who made me feel something even after years of guilt and a heavy conscience? She brought me out of my misery, she showed me what life was really about, she made me feel like I was enough.

Yeah, I was reluctant at first, nonetheless that didn't stop me from loving her. I didn't want to admit that I was changing for her, not exactly for her, but she was the main factor in my sudden change of attitude.

I changed because I was tired of living and feeling alone all the fucking time. It was driving me insane already, but when I met her, she changed that, she made me feel wanted and needed, she made me feel like I had a purpose in this earth - to love and cherish her.

She was my angel and the light of my life and I lost her, I had lost the only good fucking thing in my life. She was dammed from the moment we met, but I was a selfish bastard that didn't let her go, even knowing that if I ever did fall in love with her, which I undoubtedly did, it would consume her enough to cause her death.

I sat at the uncomfortable hospital chair on the waiting room, elbows propped up over my thighs, forehead pressed against the palms of my hands and tears flowing shamelessly. I had a fucking good reason to be crying and I dared a fucking bastard to question me about it.

The nurses said that they were doing the best they could, but I knew better. I even thought about telling one of them how she was destined to die ever since I laid eyes on her, but decided not to, since they would think I was just a crazy person and ignore me completely.

I kew she wouldn't make it, after all, I loved her, that was reason enough for her to be taken off of this earth so soon. But I prayed, oh how I prayed, I didn't know who I was even praying to, but I hoped somebody was listening.

I prayed for her to be strong and to fight, I prayed for her to make it out of this fucking mess, I prayed for being the one in that hospital bed, not her, I wanted to take her place and just stop her suffering. I prayed that she got the chance to tell me what she was about to when the accident happened.

Everything was going so great, she was finally opening up again, she was finally accepting my touch after all those months, she was finally smiling and laughing that gorgeous sound she made, she was painting like a crazy woman, there were nights that I would wake up without her by my side, only to find her in her little studio, claiming she had a sudden inspiration and had to put it out on a canvas.

She was doing good and she was allowing herself to feel again, but universe had to be such a twisted motherfucker and take her away from me, she was my fucking everything. I gave her my all, I gave her my fucking heart and soul and now she was dead, that couldn't be happening.

I jerked away from my deep thoughts by a heavy hand laying on my shoulder.I snapped my head back, recognizing the blonde quiff in front of me and a pair of deep blue eyes staring back. The tears hazing my eyes didn't allow me to recognize him at first, but after a few blinks I finally saw Luke standing in front of me.

"Hey man." Luke half smiled, a sad look carving his features like he was about to cry. I only nodded. I didn't want to speak to anyone, much less socialize, I just wanted Mel to be okay.