I felt my eyes water and i was back again in the hospital room. I was so caught in my memories that I forgot zayn and myself being in the same room.
Suddenly a gasp left my lips when strong gentle familiar arms wrapped themselves around me. I inhaled his scent , his scent that I missed , the scent that reminded me of andy
Shocked is an underestimation, I froze . my brain couldn't analyze what was happening . for all I know zayn hates me , no zayn despise me . realizing my state of shock he unwrapped his arms around me and finally spoke.
I missed his voice , that sweet, soothing melody that comes out of his mouth, his thick Bradford accent.
" welcome back Kenny" as soon as I heard the nickname that only three people called me by it, gigi , zayn and Andrew, my heartached
And andy's smile flashed in front of my eyes.
"k-kenny? Zayn what happened ? don't you despite me for killing andy ?"
A wave of Sadness flashed in his eyes, but soon was replaced by sympathy and guilt ?
He cupped my face between his warm hands and said with a strong tone
"you listen to me . it wasn't your fault . It was never your fault! I , being the fuckhead I am-" I winced at his great choice of words and he gave me an apologizing look "-didn't realize that because i was angry at myself for letting the two of you drive in that state. So it's no one's fault. I am so sorry and I'll always be for what I made you go through . you were grieving and I just made it worse . if Andrew was here he would've chopped my balls off and shoved them up my arse" I chuckled knowing that what he said was true about Andrew, and I whipped the moisture that was forming around my eyes.
"I did an awful job at being your older brother, your best friend for the past months , and I'm sorry , I love you kenny , you're a sister to me , and I'm sure Andrew is proud of you ,i can never hate you kenny , plus we will never ever ever getting back together.." he sang taylor's swift song ,to lighten up the tension in the room , and a giggle escaped my lips"- there it is , that beautiful smile of yours , the smile that was the cause of half the fights Andrew and I got in during high school, because every boy needed a cold shower after you flashed him that smile of yours " he smiled and I hit his arm playfully
And as if something clicked in his mind, a confused expression took over his beautiful features
"wait , but we're already good Kenny ,c-c-can't you remember ?"
I shook my head no and before I can opened my mouth to answer ,when the door busted open revealing cristiano with a young men , with icy blue piercing eyes and a light brown hair , styled backward , he had a comforting mesmerizing smile drawn cross his face, he was wearing a white blouse , so I guessed he was my doctor.
But he looked awfully familiar
"welcome back" he said , his voice sounded familiar to my ears, I felt as if I should remember but something kept pushing everything back
Wait , isn't he ...
"zac ?"
"how are you feeling ? long time no see ken-doll "
" you're a doctor ? long time no see ? and ken-doll? " I murmured mostly to myself but I guess they heard it
Zac's wide smile was soon replaced by a frown and a confused , worried look.
"ken stop , it's zac of course he's a doctor and he'd always called you ken-doll" Cristiano chuckled nervously
Zayn was no longer by my side he was walking slowly towards cris , shocking his head no as if cris is about to say something wrong .
" kendall" zac said in almost a whisper , wearing a more professional look.
" what's the last thing you remember ?"
Everything was a blur , all I can remember is Cristiano calling me , then I went back and told Gi and car about the call , then ...nothing , everything after that is a blur , I can't remember anything after that .
"talking to Gi and Car after cris's phone call " then I added " I can't remember anything , I d-don't remember " I suttered
"what?" cris said in disbelief
"calm down " zayn put his hand on cristiano's shoulder
" calm down?you want me to fucking calm down ? sure yes zayn I will fucking calm the fuck down , when my girlfriend, my own girlfriend doesn't remember a damn fucking shit , she fucking forgot every fucking single memory , except for when I acted like a total assface to her ! fuck! " he yelled in frustration "- she doesn't even remember her fucking best friend ! does she remember how you two could finally make a civilized conversation without ripping each other's throat , that you finaly apologized for being a fuckhead to her ? oh , I guess fucking not! Does she knows about that shithead of a so called mother-" he spat "- and what she did ? or how cara di-"
"STOP !" I yelled , which made my pounding head hurt more .and that cussing didn't help.
"what are you talking about ? girlfriend , zac's best friend , my shithead of a so called mother ? SPEAK !"
"you can't call my mom a shithead are you out of your mind ? and being your girlfriend? Someone tells me what the hell is going on !"
They all stood still, surprised of me cursing. Cris rubbed his hand on his face frustrated , sad , angry , hurt and ...guilty
Zac had a look of sympathy on his face , while zayn looked broken .
" kendall i'll have to run some more tests , but apparently , you've lost your memory due to the accident "
"my memory ? no this can't be true ... what ac-accident ?"
" we'll have to call everybody in first , but do you want your mother to be here ? because your relationship is not , well let's just say it's not what you do remember "
This is too much to process, my head is pounding , my body aching and everything is jus too much , I can't do this , but I have to .
How can my neighbor , the one I bumped into once , be my best friend .
My mom ? I've always had the best relationship a daughter can have with her mother .
What accident ? this accident that changed everything ...
I am cristiano's girlfriend ?
Remember kendall , focus , focus ... nothing
"call everyone I need to know what happened " I whispered looking down
Many questions found their way to my mind
What accident ?
Being Cristiano ronaldo's girlfriend
Zac is my best friend
Why was gigi blaming herself
Zayn forgiving me ?
My mom ? where is cara? No one talked about her
How much of my memory did I lost ?
Is it permanent ?
I am not certain of anything except that I need answers , I need them NOW!
YOU ARE READING
If ...
FanfictionRemember that if he was still alive you wouldn't be here in spain , you wouldn't have went to the bernabeu , I wouldn't have met you , you wouldn't be here in this right moment , and I wouldn't havee been able to do this " he whispers the last part...
