Photo taken: August 13th 2016
FaceTime @2:45 am
Waking up was probably the worst part of my day, it consisted of moving and living. But some how he made it easier for me. At first he didn't have a big effect on me, I saw him as a friend and nothing more. Arguments were mainly what went on between us. But then he moved.. I guess you could say it was a wake up call for me.
I wanted to talk to him but from our recent not so happy conversation, we didn't talk anymore and I wish I apologized before he left. Instead I was stubborn, and idiotic. Well until I finally texted him. I should've known when I first met him that I was never going to be able to let him go.
There were days when we just talked about the stupidest things, there were days when we talked about our future. But most days we argued. Not because of anything big or anything small either. They were reasonable arguments and sometimes I just wish I just stopped where I was and said something that made him smile. Because arguing sucks, you're in a state where your mind is so frustrated. You blame everything on everyone else. You're in a mix of emotions.... until hours go by and the only thing on your mind his that one person. Now you're thinking "well maybe it is kinda my fault", so you apologize.
I went months without him..well actually only one I think. Let me reword that. I went weeks without him some times. I pushed him away because he started poking at those walls I had built up. I didn't want to open up to him. Not when there was a chance of losing him. And I did. I lost him twice.... im pretty sure it was more than that.
You know what I did? I went back to him. When you're in love you're blinded by all the bad things the other person does to you. You mainly focus on the good things because you don't want to see those bad things.
I was bad for him... I always have been.
During the summer we didn't talk much but when we did. We talked for hours.... I liked him. I started seeing something in him. And it grew from there.
