Lonely tears

CHAPTER 1

I never understood why people beat their kids. I mean what was the point of all that? Most people say it was because their parent's were drunk, crazy or maybe because they just enjoyed the tears shed by every whipping their child received. personally I despise it, because no one really understands their pain. Most kids that are beaten by their parents hide it with a smile on their face and pretend that their happy and that they live in a happy world, but when behind the smiling costume lies possibly the saddest child. See I've lived with my foster parents for a year now and I can proudly say they have been pretty good with feeding me and giving me all the things a average 17 year old needs.

See I'm telling you all this through my head no diary, nothing straight from head and see right now I'm in prison and that's all I'm saying right now.

Well when I was 8 my father got murdered and my mom in such horrifying pain fled the country right after his funeral and just left me like I was nothing but an old memory that had been to painful to bring along. I was just a little boy who knew nothing. All I knew was I had no mommy and no daddy, all of my childhood innocence was gone. My childhood was ruined in just a blink of an eye, I had no father to teach me about sports or how to play them, I had no mother who would show me how to be a gentleman or maybe show me a trick or two on how to get a smile out of them , maybe that's why I was such a Dick head to them.

I thought as my life went on how I couldn't be like the other kids in my neighborhood. I would never go out for ice cream with my parents or maybe just share a laugh with them. It was just no way any kid would like to spend their childhood.
I was always full of sadness, and hate, I would always get angry at God and yell at him, why me?

"What the fuck have have I done to you"

I would cry and wipe my own tears away, I was the only person that could bring myself so down, it hurt to even breathe, I was so angry at the world and at God during that time.