A Yogsmas Carol

Part 1: Obligatory intro

Lalnable Scrooge was the meanest man in all of Minecraftia. This was simply a fact to those who had this misfortune of meeting him. Even to those he did not know, he was a feared man. He had worked all his life in the cold and the dark as far back as anyone could remember. The local children would often say the cold chill that came with his presence was from his cold heart. Nobody received mercy or fairness from Lalnable Scrooge. His previous partner, Mr. I. Sraphel, had disappeared a few years back; but people were too busy celebrating to search for the body. This, however, had left room for Lalnable to take over as the meanest tax man around. The winter season had not affected him at all, while everyone was decorating the town with mistletoe and lights Lalnable might as well have viewed them as clouds moving across the sky, unaffected and uncaring. And on Christmas Eve, Lalnable entered into his establishment with an even frownier frown than ever, tearing down the wreath that had been placed on the door. The inside of the building was just as bleak as the outside, no decoration or colour to be seen anywhere.

"M-Merry Christmas boss!" Specimen Cratchit exclaimed from by the fire, attending to the logs. She was a short and sweet girl, always feeling unappreciated by Mr. Lalnable Scrooge, like she was only 2nd best.

"Bah." Lalnable grumbled in response, slamming the door and settling in his old chair behind the various pieces of paper set on his table. "Humbug!"

Specimen (known as five to her friends) decided against trying to brighten his spirits as she had done for many years and sat down at her own table. Just as soon as she had opened up a book the door nearly fell off it's hinges from the loud rattling of a hard knock soon followed by the entrance of a proud, stout ginger man beaming with festive cheer.

"Yes?" Barked Lalnable from behind his desk, glancing up with a sneer.

"A Merry Christmas to you Lalnable!" Honeydew declared, dusting the snow off his beard and setting down a basket of fine ale and jaffas. He turned to see Five sat meekly behind her work and greeted her with a gloved hand, "And to you too Five! I hope Lalnable isn't working you too hard!"

"Oh, um, thank you Honeydew! And I-I'm sure my hours are quite reasonable..." Five seemed hesitant to show too much cheer, out of fear of losing her job.

Honeydew narrowed his eyes at this and glanced at the paperwork stacked near Five's desk. "Oh god, you're not working on Christmas are you?" He asked.

"Well, I-uh..."

Honeydew turned back to Lalnable who seemed to be mentally preparing himself for dealing with Honeydew's merry spirit.

"You bloody rotter! It's Christmas Lalnable!" The short man exclaimed.

Lalnable rubbed his hands together, looking up to the dwarf like man in his office. "I decide the hours here. And unlike that meek Xephos, I run a tight business no matter what word everyone decides to call the time of year." With every word Lalnable seemed to grow more contempt.

Honeydew took a breath in, ready to berate Lalnable before suddenly at the open door a small voice popped in.

"Hello?" Called out a slim man dressed in an orange jacket, holding a small bucket in his hands. Behind him was a shorter and slightly larger man in a matching blue jacket, who seemed to be slightly less interested in what was happening.

"Ah, hello!" Honeydew replied, turning to greet the two with a rosy-cheeked beaming smile.

"Sorry to interrupt you, but we're here collecting money for the poor!" The bearded man in orange explained, stepping into the doorway and soon nudging his friend to join him.

"Well you are luck my good man! My friend Lalnable here has much to spare, don't you Lalnable?" Honeydew replied.

Lalnable simply grumbled in response, not happy to have so many unwanted guests.

"But, since he's a little under the weather I'll make my own donation and be on my way." He sighed, dropping a handful of gold coins into the bucket. The orange man thanked him with a smile, while his friend in blue peered in to count the coins. "Oh, and Lalnable?"

"What now?" He asked with a groan.

"If this young lady doesn't get tomorrow off I'll be back here to personally see to it she gets better employment!" He chuckled, with still a sense of sternness in his voice.

"Fine! Fine! Fine!" Lalnable replied, taking a glass of red liquid from under his desk and taking a sip.

With one last smile Honeydew was off, wading his way through the snow. Lalnable was glad to see him go, returning to his paperwork. Five peered around cautiously, hoping her boss would remember the two men stood in their office.

The blue man with greyish skin spoke up first after a long pause of empty silence, "Hey, uh, we've got like a bunch of other places to go after this so can you make a donation?"

Lalnable sighed and stood up from behind his desk, "A donation?" he asked.

The bearded man nudged his friend for being rude and smiled up at Lalnable, "Yes sir! Money for the poor at this time of giving in the year!"

"You mean those unable to pay their taxes and are living on our streets out in the cold, no home, no money, no jobs?"

"Yes exactly! We at Sjipsco want to give back to those in need for the holiday season, and any donation is much appreciated."

"Well why didn't you say?" Lalnable exclaimed, placing a hand on the pair's shoulders.

The two turned to one another with a grin, expecting a festive offering, but before Sjin or Sips could say another word Lalnable had lifted them up by their colour coded clothes and walked to the open doorway where snow had been gathering now.

"S-some would rather die than be left out on the streets at Christmas!" Sjin exclaimed in a high pitched voice.

"Then they'd better get to it! And decrease the surplus spawn rate!" Lalnable bellowed, tossing Sips out into the street, "And anyone walking around with Merry Christmas on their lips? I say Bah-humbug!" and with that Sjin was face down in the snow with Sips. The door was then slammed behind them, leaving them out in the cold air almost as frozen as Lalnable heart.

Sips sat up, helping Sjin to scoop the few coins they had back into the bucket, "What an asshole!"

Five immediately got back to work, head down and acting as if nothing had happened. Lalnable stood in the middle of the room, rubbing his temples. "You may have the day off tomorrow, there'll be nobody to do business with anyway."

"Yes boss!"