a book full of words || hamburrger

zero

alexander

"class dismissed," was all alexander had heard during that class period.

he stood up from his desk, only just now starting to leave the now almost empty classroom. nothing had really gotten into his ears that day. it was just one of those times again.

one of the times when he could barely handle living.

they were beginning to happen more often, and despite alex's bright and talkative attitude, they were starting to effect his character. he did a good job of hiding it, because the only person who noticed was his closest friend, john. it had only been on one occasion a couple of weeks ago, alex made sure to be extra careful around him.

it wasn't that he wanted to hide his constant sadness from john, it was that he wanted to hide his constant sadness from everyone. everybody in his small group of friends looked to him for comfort, as a role model for happiness. he couldn't afford to be sad himself. he had to stay strong for them.

alex felt something light and small hit the back of his head. a wad of paper.

"hey, hamilton, would you move out of the fucking doorway?" he heard a familiar southern sounding voice from behind him say.

"sorry, jefferson," he mumbled under his breath, careful not to start something he wasn't in the mood for. alex stepped aside and let jefferson go by with his boyfriend, who coughed and mumbled a quick apology before leaving.

after he was gone, alex looked around the classroom, consisting of nothing but him, the teacher, who seemed to be extremely busy, and another kid who was grabbing the rest of his things from his desk. they made eye contact for a second too long before alex turned his head and left the classroom, head full of unspoken thoughts.

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alex sighed and dropped his bag on the floor of his cluttered apartment. he made a beeline for his room and plopped down onto his bed, swiftly grabbing his book and pen on the way down.

Dear diary,

I still hate living. Every day it gets worse. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle it.

I didn't pay attention in any of my classes, and I avoided John all day. I feel so bad, but I really couldn't talk to him today.

Jefferson is still a prick, and he didn't make anything better. I almost hate him more than myself.

Usually my entries are much longer, but I don't know what else to say. I just want to sleep.
- Alex H.

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I hope you liked this lil' intro chapter! I don't know how often I'll update, but hopefully it'll be soon.

Comments, shares, and votes are much appreciated! Stay fReSh

- Actual shit