Assisting Miss Adams (GirlxGirl) NEW VERSION

Twenty

Gray clouds covered Missouri's morning sky as I made my way back to school. After two weeks of riding an emotional roller coaster I wasn't prepared to face the small hell I found inside Baldwin High.

I wasn't ready to return to softball practice and I wasn't ready to face Megan, whom I hadn't seen or spoken to since New Years. Just thinking about dealing with it made me cringe.

Luckily Shawn and Blair refused to drill me about it after that night, which I appreciated. Guess they figured I would talk about it when I was ready, which would probably be never.

My hand grabbed the door handle and shoved it open, the familiar smell of school hitting me. The first half of senior year had been eventful. Deep down I was hoping the second half would be quiet, but knew better than to expect that.

Then Blair was at my side. "Morning," she greeted.

I couldn't help but smile at her presence. "Would you be up for skipping today?" I suggested. "I'm really not feeling school."

"You're never feeling school, Sam."

"I'll take that as a no."

She laughed. "A hard no."

The first day back seemed to pass easier than expected, but there was a small hint of dread when I left my third hour. What would Megan do when she saw me? Would she avoid me? Greet me like nothing had ever happened? It terrified me, because Megan wasn't predictable like most people.

I rounded the corner with Blair at my side for support. That's when I spotted Emma hanging all over some guy. I believed that was her almost-homecoming date, Jeremy.

"Well, it didn't take her long to move on," Blair claimed.

I should've felt jealous, right? Or at least hurt, but in all actuality I felt nothing. Everything seemed to be numb now.

I shrugged. "Good for her."

Blair just glanced at me but I didn't meet her eyes. I could already feel where this conversation was about to go and I still wasn't ready. She hadn't even mentioned Megan since New Years, but it had been over a week. A conversation was long overdue.

"Have you talked to Meg-"

"No," I interjected. "I haven't."

"Have you even tried?"

I sighed and refused to answer. I hadn't tried. Of course I had her number and knew where she lived, but after that night there was a need to figure out what the hell I was feeling for her. I figured she needed space to do the same.

"Sam, acting like it didn't happen won't erase the fact that it did."

"I know that."

She didn't like my short answers, but it was all I really had. At the moment my heart was pounding so hard in my chest I felt like I was about to throw up.

Before we rounded the corner to Megan's classroom Blair stopped me in my tracks. Her hands rested on my shoulders and her eyes locked with mine.

"What are you so afraid of?" she asked.

With Megan? A lot. I was afraid of being rejected. Afraid of being ignored and forgotten. I was afraid to lose our friendship and the regret of opening up to her about the things I never told anyone.

And I was afraid for Megan to love me, because I knew deep down I wasn't right for her.

I raked my hands through my hair. "I'm scared that she hates me now."