Ezra was at school when she saw Kya. They were across the cafeteria from each other, not that far away really, but it felt like miles. From what Ezra could see, which wasn't all that much, Kya wasn't paying attention to a word that Addison was saying. Surely, Addison knew, but she kept throwing words out into the atmosphere, maybe just waiting for someone to acknowledge them. Ezra knew that Kya had been round Addison's the whole night, so she had had the opportunity to make up for lost sleep. Except, she hadn't because she spent the whole night worrying that Kya had been lying. It was irrational, but in her head there was always the doubt in everything Kya told her. She wasn't proud of it.
Kya mumbled something to Addison before standing up and leaving the cafeteria. She left her bag on the seat, which meant that she'd probably be back soon. Ezra sat and tried to focus on her lunch. Feyre cracked a couple of jokes, and she laughed along like she wasn't staring across the room at her sister's best friend.
The funny thing about Addison was that Ezra thought she knew a lot more about her than she should. She was sitting, watching Addison in the cafeteria, talking to someone on that table casually. Addison was wearing jeans and a baggy slogan tee, backpack beside her on the floor. She did not look comfortable, but why would she? She was dressed up as someone she wasn't.
That was the issue Ezra had: she wasn't supposed to know that Addison was uncomfortable in herself. Hell, it was more than uncomfortable. Addison never talked to Ezra about it, and Ezra never even asked about Addison at all. It felt wrong for her to be thinking about this when it wasn't her business. She felt like she had been snooping when she hadn't. How else would she know that Addison liked to wear the little glitzy hair clips that Kya still had from when she was younger when no one was looking? Yet, she didn't know Addison's favourite colour.
Ezra muttered something to McKenna about needed to talk to someone before heading across the cafeteria towards her sister's best friend. She tried to ignore the feeling that everyone was watching her.
"Hey," Addison greeted her. Ezra watched her expression, bright and inviting.
"Kya was at yours last night, right?" Some people from the other end of the table looked up with raised eyebrows.
Addison didn't seem to care. "Yeah, why?"
"Was she," Ezra cast a nervous glance to the students watching, "was she okay?"
"You know what let's just go out for a moment," Addison said, standing up. Ezra didn't voice her concerns about what would happen if Kya came back to no one. Their bags were still there, so at least it was a sign that they'd be back in a moment.
The corridor wasn't much quieter, but at least no one bothered to listen to their conversation there. Addison turned to Ezra, expression much changed. There was a little bit of shame in Ezra's stomach, because she'd done that, she'd switched the smile for a frown. Addison asked, "what were you saying?"
Ezra hesitated. "Was Kya okay?"
"Was she?" Addison repeated. "Was she okay? When are we talking about here? I don't think she's been okay for a long time."
Ezra tried not to frown. "That's not funny."
"Never said it was," Addison leaned against a wall. "Why are you asking now? She was with me all night, she wouldn't have done anything."
They both knew what 'done anything' implied. Kya had bad habits they couldn't control: going out in the middle of the night, drinking, smoking, hurting. As long as Kya was with them though, they could try to control her. Maybe it wasn't a point of getting her to learn how to stop anymore. Maybe that was too hard for them to handle and too much for Kya to deal with. Maybe it was just a matter of restraint now. If she was kept away from it all for long enough, maybe she'd stop running to it. It hadn't worked in Dalacine, so there was nothing to say it would work now, but they needed it to. They all did.
