Courage in Doubt

His voice calmed some of nerves.
It always did.
Aside from now.
Before I had left he had kissed me in the cheek and smirked, saying now he had insurance that I was going to come back alive.
Because I wouldn't be able to live without the answer to it.
He wasn't necessarily wrong.
But it didn't help with the situation I was stuck in.
The Moby Dick, will come crashing down and destroying my new home along with my new family.
Akutagawa, declaring he'd kill me, then helping me.
All communication with Dazai, the person that we needed the most, was cut off in an attempt to slow Akutagawa down enough for me to stop the Moby Dick.
Now all I the company I had was a murderer that only wanted attention from his superior.
(A/N: Shin Soukokou Shippers Plz don't kill me)
The company as annoying as he was I was grateful for it.
It would have been impossible for either of us to singularly beat Fitzgerald in combat because of his ability.
A few days after when everybody had settled back into the 'normal' Dazai pulled me aside into an alley way near the office building.
"This is your answer Atsushi." He smiled softly before closing a gap in between us, Dazai taking a large step towards me, making sure uhthat he wasn't so close that he made me lean back and possibly loose my balance and fall over.
One of his hands slid underneath my chin and lifted my head up to make my eyes meet his dark brown eyes shining slightly. "Daz..."
I never even finished the word because the other man's brushed against my own.
"Atsushi Nakajima.
I love your naïveté.
I love your heart.
I love your courage.
I love your bravery.
I love your willingness to help others.
I love all your flaws.
I love how you make me smile.
I love you for you."
"W-Wha-" Apparently in that day I want allowed to finish sentences or words because Dazai's lips pressed against mine and slowly opened my own and slid his tongue in and let it slowly coax my tongue to dance with it, slowly and softly.
Dazai pulled away. "The only flaw of yours I don't like would have to be that you have too much doubt floating in that pretty little head of yours, Atsushi."
The man wrapped in bandages smiled down at me and then I realised he must be expecting an answer.
"I believe that nothing good can come from me so I must have nothing good myself, Dazai, that won't change in days, weeks, months or even years. Please don't give me hope for something I never can have."
"Well it's a good thing I'm not good then." Dazai's smile was weak at this point. His arms wrapped around my body and he held me tight. "Atsushi, please believe in yourself more, you're amazing and I love you. Even if you don't shar the same feelings I have got you, please believe you deserve good things in your life ."
"Dazai..." I felt the words pour out of my mouth. "I do share the same feelings but I don't want to burden you with anything, I believe myself to be useless and terrible. I don't even know how to have any sort of relationship, I've never had any friends or family before here-"
Dazai's laughter shook my body as well as his. "Atsushi don't worry about that. I'll help you if you need it, just have courage since you're going to jump into the deep end."
I forced a weak smile.

A/N: I'm so sorry for my crappy writing I'll repay this later but I wanted to finish this because I needed to post today and it's currently 11:23pm where I am so yeah.
Here's a demonstration of my bad writing skills, I'll rewrite this when I've slept and I'll post other stories as well