Her Laugh Broke The Silence

Her laugh broke the silence.

She was laughing at her. Making fun of her. How could she laugh at something so serious as her feelings. Why was she doing this to her...

"You are joking, right?" She still laughs. Only as her student was slowly walking backwards to the door, with an expression of disbelief and hurt clearly written all over her face, did she realise that she just made a big mistake.

"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't.." But it was too late. The person who had just confessed to be madly in love with her had already left the room with tears streaming down her face.

Damn it! Why did she think she would make jokes about topics like that. It should have been obvious that she would never ever lie about being in love with her teacher and risking to be expelled from school or at least having to change classes and being bullied for the rest of her school career. She had to find her. Had to apologise. . . . Had to find the strength to tell her about her own feelings.

It happened quite early on in this school year, that she was exceptionally excited to go to school on the days where she was to teach HER class, even though she did not realise why until their class trip to London.

It was along trip. Eight hours and fifty-three minutes to be precise. A long time, especially when you are stuck in a bus with only hormonal teenagers and a grumpy bus driver surrounding you. At least she managed to get a seat next to a student, she actually liked. She was the only one who had enough manners to bid her goodbye after class and to wish her a nice week end or restful holidays. She wouldcertainly be her favourite student, if she would actually say something in class, it's not as if she doesn't know the answers it's more like she is afraid to say them out aloud. She had tried to make her more confident far too many times, but it always just worked for a couple of lessons, before she was taking over her old habit of listening and writing only again. Nevertheless she was a nice person and from the talks they had, she could say that she did not have it easy at home, so she tried to count that in as well. To her surprise the bus ride next to her shy student had not been as quite as she would have thought, because eventually she had started a conversation and even though she got a bit nosy through out the whole thing it had not been unpleasant. 

She found she liked to share personal thoughtsand feelings with this girl. That was the first time she told someone who she hasn't been very close to about her divorce and the trouble of finding someone who really suits your character. She just felt connected to the girl. Felt like she was really interested in what she had to say and so she just let her thoughts go. It turned out that the ride was over more quickly than both had thought as they had reached their destination. They soon found themselves separated by the mass that demanded their teachers attention and a direct answer to what they would do now. It was a wonder that they were not as tired as she was. Maybe she should have slept at least a bit, but she had rather spend her time watching the other people sleep especially the girl to her left, who had fallen asleep at some point. If she remembered correctly it was when she was telling her from her teenage years. Normally she would have been offended if someone was to fall asleep while she was telling them her life story, but it was late (They departed at 8 pm and at the point were she fell asleep it was already well past midnight) and she just could not be mad at her, she looked far to cute when she was asleep and her head was laying on her shoulder. She remembered that she had stroked a strand of hair out o fher face and behind her ear. It had felt natural so she did not question her actions until later, when they were outside, in front of Big Ben and everyone made photos with their friends. She was watching her class with a smile on her face, she herself did not like photographs very much and she visited this place far to often to feel the need and the eagerness to immortalise the picture of it.

She however took a lot of photos and after a few shots with either of her friends she tried her luck and asked her teacher to be in a picture with her. Normally her teacher would have declined, but she could not resist her puppy eyes and therefore said yes. They did not only took one photo but a few more, most of them were not quite serious, because one of them made a face or just stuck their tongue out. She did not know why, but she felt young again when she was with her and she even forgot that there were other students looking at them.(Looking back she did not care about that. She had her fun and thatwas what counted.) From that point on though, she became a bit more curious as to why the girl had such a big effect on her and after a few days of contemplating her feelings, she had to admit to herself that she was attracted to her. Mostly because of her character, not that the girl was not beautiful, she just thought that character is what makes a person attractive. She soon found herself craving the presence of her and wherever she was, she made sure to be there as well. Of course she knew that it was false and that they could not be, even if her feelings were to be reciprocated, which they were most likely not. Why would a beautiful young girl like her date her too-many-years her senior teacher. She did not even know if she was gay.

Well now she definitely knew and she had to take this chance. This was probably the only one she got and she had to realise it.

So she ran of to where she thought her young student would most likely be. She was right. They were now at a place on the campus that was unknown tomost people. It was a small little isle behind a wall of bushes. She had no idea how her student found it, but she knew of it because she saw her jumping behind the bushes quite often.

She sat on the dry grass sobbing totally unaware of the intruder until she cleared her throat and sat down next to her. "What do you want? I thought you made yourself clear enough" Her voice was broken. She tried to sound strong and cold, but it came out as only a whisper."If I would have made my feelings clear, you would not have run out of the room, or at least I hope so. Listen I..." She did not know how to phrase it. How do you tell you student you have been in love with her for nearly a year? "Just don't. I already know that you are not interested. Please do not make this more difficult than it already is." She had turned her head and was now looking at her, her eyes brimming with tears. "No you misundersto-" She was cut off. "How could I have misinterpreted that laugh? You were laughingat me. How could yo-" She could not finish her sentence, because a pair of lips found hers.

At first she was shocked, but soon she found herself kissing back. After a few seconds however, they broke apart again and the older woman continued her explanation. "You really misunderstood. I thought you were making a joke, because I thought that my feelings for you were so obvious that you were just making fun of me. I would never, I repeat NEVER make fun of you because of your feelings. I.... l-love you..."Her speech was underlined by an affectionate look and soon she felt the lips of her student on hers again.