As I close out of the messenger and put down my phone I slowly walk to my room. "I'll finish my work tomorrow" I mutter. I three my phone on my bed, then throw myself on the plush mattress I've had for years. I grab my phone and open up the security camera app I have in order to watch how MC is doing in the apartment and that she is safe. People might think I like her but I'm only doing this because she is a member and V told me too.
She is pretty. There's no denying that. But a lot of girls are pretty. People ask me if I'm sure I don't like her and I normally don't answer and use the excuse "that's and awkward question" or "I don't know" or I try to change the subject.
This is all true because 1. That is an awkward question to ask and 2. I really don't know. I haven't really thought about it. Or, I have but I just don't want to admit it. Truth is I don't know HOW to admit it.
I've tried to hint at how I feel but always behind jokes. I think I like her but I'm scared she might reject my feelings towards her and leave me heartbroken. So honestly I think it's best to just not say anything for right now. But I'm afraid Yoosung might win her over or Zen might sweep her off her feet before I get the chance to tell her how I feel. Honestly, it's like I have no chance. Maybe it's for the best. I would only put her in danger anyways. I just want her to be happy, because as long as she is happy...I'm happy? I just love her so much but I don't want to hurt her. She deserves the best...and I know I'm not that...as much as I want to be.
As all these thought finish racing through my mind I quickly wipe away my tears and log onto the messenger. Upon logging on I see that she is talking to Jumin and Jaehee. Just the usual stuff about Elly. None of them have noticed that I'm on so I quickly log off and lie down. I close my eyes but then I begin to picture her in Yoosungs or Zens arms. I panic and quickly open up the security camera app. I see MC peacefully sleeping so I decide to do the same.
