Dig if you will the picture Of you and I engaged in a kiss The sweat of your body covers G Can you my darling Can you picture this? Dream if you can a courtyard An ocean of violets in bloom A nigga like me strikes curious poses I feel the heat The heat between me and you How can you just leave me standing? Alone in a world that's so cold? Maybe I'm just too demanding Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold Maybe I'm just like my mother She's never satisfied (She's never satisfied) Why do we scream at each other This is what it sounds like When doves cry - Amara!, Amara! I thought I heard my name being called, but I just brushed it off and continued laying on my bed listening to music. When I listen to music, I am in another world.
My music soon came to a stop.
"Get up yo ass up and get this child some milk. And., and, go to the store and get some cereal."
My mom said as she grabbed my headphones, snatched them out of my cassette tape player, and grabbed my hair in the process.
"Ok, but did you really have to snatch my headphones off of my ears?
"Shut up, watch you mouth, and do what I told you"
She walked out my room and one baby in her arms, one walking behind, and the other crawling.
A little back story on myself. My name Amara Smith, I was born and raised in Compton, California by my mother because my father was never anywhere to be around, neither are the fathers for the rest of my siblings. I am 17 years old and trying to finish high school, but with all the violence that is going on right now in my city, it's very hard to focus. On top of that, I have 3 siblings under 7 living in a 3 bedroom house. - I walked took a deep breath then looked out of my window "why can't I just leave this place?" I thought to myself. Looking out of the window and seeing people on the corner either being so drunk that they can't even walk straight, or watching people buy drugs. I know about what effects these things can have on a person because my mother is both an alcoholic and a drug user and abuser. This place is not giving me hope to be an aspiring singer. I am going to do everything in my power to have and live a better life then what I am around everyday. I have never had anything handed to me, I have worked hard for everything that I own. I am very independent. - I walked down the hallway, grabbed two towels and a washcloth then made my way to the bathroom. I took my long black naturally curly hair out of a the bun that it was in then got in the shower and used my favorite body wash, pretty flower. I then washed my hair and got out. I threw one towel on my body and wrapped the other one around my hair. I brushed my teeth then applied a generous amount of makeup especially on my eyes. I walked back down to the hallway back to my room and I began to get dressed. I put on A black crop top with cut off sleeves, white jeans, a gold belt, with gold hoops and other accessories. I sprayed some Chanel perfume to complete it all.
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I waked down my stairs to my mother sitting on the living room couch doing lines on cocaine on the coffee table with an half filled 40' oz right next to her. My 4 year old twin sisters Faith and Lauren were running around in only dirty diapers. My 7 year old brother Jaivon was trying to make something to eat with the little bit of food that we had. I grabbed my purse and keys headed off to the grocery store. It was a beautiful California day in May. It was about 80 degrees and sunny, you could not have asked for better weather. I got into my ford escort and turned from my street Green leaf and turned onto Crenshaw to the grocery store. I parked my car and began to walk inside. I could not even open my car door before I heard whistles and comments from men around the outside of the store. I casually walked through the store picking up the things I was told and also extra things because I know damn well my mama won't. I paid at the register then put my bags in the trunk of my car. It was warm so I decided to get a drink from the vending machine outside of the store and I saw a group of guys standing in front of it. I walked up
"Excuse me" I said to the man that was standing right in front of it. He looked familiar, short, brown skin, Jheri curls, raiders gear, gold chains, I know that I have seen him before.
"Sure thing, baby" he had on sunglasses but we exchanged looks at each other. I could tell that he was looking my body up and down.
"Do I know you from somewhere?" I asked
"I don't know but I would like to know you better"
"You live on Green leaf right?"
"Sho' do"
"I live on that street, I have seen you around before"
"Oh cool, we should link up sometime. My name is Eric by the way, but you can call me eazy"
We exchanged hand shakes
"I'm Amara"
"Here's my number, give me a buzz in a few days"
"Will do, I'll see you around and I will use your number soon"
"Catch ya later Amara" -
I got into my car and began drive home. The whole way all I could think about was Eric. He was cute, but I really don't know if I have time to do anything in a relationship. I am basically taking care of 3 kids, myself, school, work, that is a whole lot to juggle at once. But love comes up when you need it most, maybe this could be the start of something new.
