Things are meant to be (camren)

Chapter 16

Lauren Pov Everythings seems so mess up, i have this feeling deep inside of me that tellin' me to run away, run away from everything, she doesn't know me, she think she does , but iam not good for her , iam bad, she is too good for me, every cell of my body wants to be with her but i won't. No camila is not pretty she is far from that, and everyone that thinks she is pretty are wrong because this girl is better than that she is beautiful, she have a beautiful mind, i don't really care about the fact that wear make up or not. For me she is the most beautiful and genuine person in the world. I don't want to hurt her but i can't have these feelings, how can i hate her so much and at the same love her to deaf this is insane, so yeah as you know i act like i don't care, when deep inside of me i wanna be there for her, holding her, listening to her, joking, but of course i do the contrary Yeah i wanna protect her, all i live for is to see her beautiful smile on her face and the way her eyes shines when she is goofing around tellin' her lame jokes that i find so funny. I need to make her hate me because i don't want her to feel anything for me, she shouldn't be happy that i like so much more than a friend no because iam bad , iam nothing but an asshole to her , and she still stay by my side as my bestfriend, always there for me whenever i need her, i feel like a jerk, iam not good enough for her.
Iam a cold, moody bitch, some of my friend call me the bitch, how can she handle that if was her i wouldn't, i get mad for nothing, i give her attitude but it doesn't seems like but i actually wanna see her happy, because her happiness is all that matter to me, but she doesn't belong with me, she just can't.                    She won't be happy when she'll find out what iam doing behind her back, but iam not a good person, iam used to hurt people because iam actually hurt deep inside my bones.                Doesn't seems like it but things are haunting me, but i won't talk about it and bury them deep inside of my soul.             *****************************************************A/N I updated lol