The one I need❤

❤HIM❤

     I don't know what it is about him. He can be so depressed but yet makes me smile. He thinks he is so cold hearted but one hug from him makes me so warm I feel better about myself. He has seen more and done more things than I have. When I wake up in don't know it's just a lust to just talk to him.     How can he do this to me? Does he know I'm here? Does he care? Am I good enough?    These are the things I ask myself every time I think about him.
I just want him. He makes me happy. I   think I love him?. I need him cause I love him?.
What's wrong with me.

I care so much about him. Im never enough. Really the relationships i had was nothing. Just something for the time being. I guess? But i want something for real. But can I wait long enough for him to be ready? Because everything about him is just i dont know what to say. He can be up front with you to help you out . He makes me smile by just saying hi. I dont know how he does it but i can feel so down like im worthless and nothing . But he just makes me so happy and makes my heart so warm. Ill love if i could all ways feel that but as soon as i see my family it starts to fade away. and the dark and coldness comes back.

Who feels like this too?......NO ONE

I want to say how I know him. And moments we were just talking and what was going through my head.

I met him in elementary school. To be honest he was cute then too. Shh. Well he was nice to me and my best friend. For the longest time I would just go to her house just to see him. (He lived near her) I remember one time when I spent the night and her brother the next morning came in the room with something that looked like a knife and locked us outside. We would try to get back in but he was at every door we kept on screaming so loud. The boy I like came outside. I liked him for all these years but I didn't see him for a few. Because well.... he is like three grades ahead of me. But yet I still remembered him. Like how could I not. But now I'm a freshman and now we're in the same school.🙂

One of my favorites memory of him was not so long ago.... it was at a assembly. And I got to sit next to him. Yay! Well I was flirting hard. But did he know? He did say something about   if we didn't stop playing around people would think we are dating. Out loud I said eww no. But yet in my head I was screaming YESSS. It wouldn't be sooo bad. It would make me happy. But like he know that? He probably likes some other girl. And just waiting to ask her out. Should I try and get him or stick with fake love??

I don't know.

_______________________________________

Note: it's a work in progress