I don't know how long we sat in my car and I don't know how long I had been shivering for but instead of turning the car on, Jonathan wrapped his jacket around my shoulders and continued to hold me. His black t-shirt smelled like cigarette smoke and the woods, and when I finally looked up he looked almost sad to be holding me. "Jonathan?" I ask, shrugging out of his embrace and sitting against the car door, putting on the jacket and sliding my legs into his lap. "Yes Sarah?" he asks, a smile fluttering onto his face as he recognizes his pants. "Are you ok with how...close we are?" I ask, drawing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "Yes I am," he says, linking his fingers through mine. "Do you wish I was Nancy?" I ask, resting my chin on my knees. "No. Oh god no," he laughs and when he does, it's full bodied and whole-hearted."Hey! Don't laugh at me!' I say, tears welling in my eyes. "I don't wish you were Nancy. You are your own wonderful person. I need both of you in separate ways," he says with a sad smile in my direction. The closer I study his face, the clearer my hand print becomes."Oh my, lord, I am so so sorry," I profusely apologize, leaning forward and running the back of my hand down it. "It's ok, Sarah, I would've slapped me too," he says, frantically grabbing my hand and tangling our fingers together again, and then leading me out the passenger side, pausing only to let me grab my keys.
I don't remember Nancy and Steve leaving but their car is gone. So I have to assume so are they. "You promised me pizza and loud music," he said, towing me toward the door. The lights are all plugged in, and I can softly hear some music from down the hall. When he turns it up, I can feel the floor shake, hear the rattling windows, and feel the rhythm in my chest. It kind of makes me feel nauseous but awesome at the same time. "Sarah!" he yells with a laugh, extending his hand. He spins me in circles and then crashes me against his chest while we listen to my mother's old Frank Sinatra tapes that we stole from my father so he wouldn't sell them. Pulling me in slow circles around the kitchen he sings to me, being a total dork. I lean forward, pressing my body against his and laying my cheek against his. "You wanna order?" I say in his ear. I can feel him nod against the cheek and he laughs in my ear, twirling me through the kitchen with a smile stretched across his face. I let go of his hands and head to the phone as he rushes to turn down the music. While I am actually ordering he keeps chanting more food items at me and I laugh a bit, stopping the order when we reach our twenty buck limit.
We sit down to play cards on the living room floor and turn down the music, waiting for the pizza to arrive. "You are more of a dork than I am by the way," Jonathan argues while we are caught up in the rapid-fire of card war. "How would you think that?" I inquire, barely looking up at him while trying to focus on the card game and not the soft and sweet sound of his voice. "You read too many fairy tales," he says, with a small shrug and a smile. "Why would that make me more of a dork?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ear, only for it to be pulled back down by Jonathan. "You're a good kind of dork, I promise," he says, stealing the last Ace from my deck of cards. "Uggh, well you are the one who chooses to be around me so much," I say, teasing him for his strange interest in having me around. "I like you, Sarah, you're different. You don't find it necessary to like the normal things," he says, taking my whole card deck out of my hand, just to stare at me. He pulls both of my hands into his and just stares at me for a minute. "You have brilliant eyes," he says, leaning forward to get a closer look. I close my eyes and can still see the flash of his camera behind my lids.
"Can I do this all night?" he asks, snapping another one as I open my eyes to look back at him. I nod and he sighs. "Maybe it'll be easier if we're the only ones in that dark room," he mutters, snapping another one. The doorbell rings and I jump, startled but not scared. Jonathan laughs and quickly goes to get it. As soon as he can't see me, I cover my eyes and smile hard, feeling like his whole world has made mine so much brighter. "You ok?" he asks, sinking down onto the carpet with me, two pizzas, and a two liter of orange soda. "I'm great," I say, nodding and pulling his jacket from my shoulders, tossing it to the couch. The pizza goes by quickly and we save one for Will and Joyce. Soon we are back to dancing in the kitchen, my head resting on his shoulder as he holds me and I feel at home. I can feel his fingers running up and down my back, and soon we stop moving and just hold each other. I pull away from him when I can feel sobs start to hiccup out of his chest. "Things aren't going to change are they?" he asks, and I can tell he is referring to Nancy. "No, they're not. Time to move on," I say, wiping away some tears and taking his camera. "What are you doing?" he asks, reaching for it. I quickly take a photo of him. "To remind us of how bad things can be," I say, handing it back to him. "Right," he sighs, going back into the living room. "Jonathan?" I ask, coming into the room, and pulling on his hand as an invitation to turn around. "Yes Sarah?" he asks, intertwining both of our hands. "Can I kiss you?" I ask, standing on my tippy toes and inching my face closer to his.
"Hey, guys how was your night?" Joyce asks as he quickly steps away from me.
