Mixed feelings {Wike}

Nightmares

Mike
It's 03:24. I just woke up. Almost every night I wake up, just to realize it's another nightmare. Earlier El used to be involved, but now it's just the monster.
The dreams always makes me feel so drained. It feels like I haven't slept, and I'm always so exhausted. I used to get really good grades but nowadays they just have seem to hit the bottom.
When I have a nightmare, I normally listen to music the rest of the night. It calms me down, and it is almost the only way I can relax.
Once the music is on, my head start to wander. Earlier I was always thinking about El, and how I was supposed to rescue her. Everyone said that she was dead, something that made me even more exhausted and drained. I wanted to be near her.

But now my mind wander to other places. Darker places. I've started to think a lot about Will. It's just something that makes me want to fly when I see him. I don't know if I like him, but I know that you're not supposed to like a guy if you are a guy. At least that what's my father says.
Sometimes I hear my mom and my dad talking about me downstairs. They are always wondering if I'm gay. It's like it's a crime to like someone. I just wish everyone could just love who they wanted to.
But I don't really know if I actually like him or if I just really love him like a best friend. Everything is just really confusing, and I can't do anything about it.

It is starting to feel like my world is falling apart, and I'm just on the sideline watching it tear down.

{Writer} OMG I just started my Wike fanfic. I've been thinking about it for a while, since I really ship them. ( not that I don't ship Mileven) I will hopefully get next part up tomorrow! Xoxo💋