The Things I'll Never Say

Lovely Chaos

I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you, I gave you my heart. I think I stayed with you for so long because I gave you literally all of me. You never cherished it.

I think about the happy times we had but only to prevent the hate that is striving to break free. Out of all the things that have happened to me in my short life, your betrayal has hurt the worst. You vent to everyone about how I left you. Do they know your the one who broke my heart?

I still think about our spot by the lake, and every time I gain the courage to go back...........I can't. I won't. It is now just another place that a former love will be kept forever.

I trashed almost everything you gave me to try to forget you. I still have your necklace and our old pictures. Isn't it funny how I refer to 'us' as what we were, what you broke.

I'm not angry, I am sad. Sad that I put so much love and time into someone who didn't really care, and maybe we both didn't care. I won't lie to you I did think about dating other people the last year when we were together, I think secretly you knew. I think as time goes by, so did I. That no matter how many plans we made, we knew they were empty words. You knew when I had feelings for other people, and I knew that you would never change. I think we both loved our own destruction, then the though of when we would destroy each other.

In the long run my time with you was never wasted, and believe me until you broke my trust you were the only person on my mind. When we stayed together, it was to have something.....to have someone to worry about and care about. I felt it in my heart every time you betrayed me, I could. Though I ignored it because I though we cared about each other.

The peace I felt when I was with is something I will never forget. When you held me and promised forever, there was a time when I believed it.

Maybe in the end we both knew that we would never last, but being together was what fueled our own demise.