Fake Smiles

#27: 4OU Tickets

Life felt horrible for Lily. It had been about 5 or 6 months, and still no improvement. She had been going to the hospital regularly for check ups. She was finding it more difficult to walk upstairs to her room. She hadn't completed anything off her bucket list, and she knows she hasn't got long. She had been going to those sessions her mom suggested, and she had been lying to them about how she feels. Her friend seems to be more distant. She felt like she was losing her. And she didn't want that. Anything but that!

She was on the Dolan Twins website when she saw they had tickets for a show near her. Her heart fluttered at the thought of seeing them perform. She smiled as she saw hope. She had hope that she would complete at least one of the things on her bucket list. She called for her mom to come to her. Her mom came rushing into her room.

"What's wrong?!" Her mom asked.

Lily smiled as she turned her laptop so her mom can see the screen. "Can I please go? It's fine if you don't want me to. I just really want to see them perform. I'll bring someone! I promise, I'll call you when I'm leaving the venue. And if something bad happens, you'll be the first to know".

Her mom smiled at her. "Sure!" Lily was so happy. Her mom looked at the information and price. Her mom's smile disappeared a few seconds later, followed by, "But I won't be able to get the VIP tickets".

Lily's heart dropped. She'd love to meet them! But that won't happen. She smiled at her mom with a sad smile. "That's alright. I'll be fine with just going to the show. I'm fine with not meeting them. Thank you for doing this!" Lily told her mom.

Lily invited her friend around. Lily sat with her friend and told her about the 4OU Show. Her friend was so happy because she thought Ethan was hot. The show was in a weeks time, so they had time to prepare. They were discussing all the possibilities of going to the show. Lily's mom was saying what to do if something bad happened.  

Lily went bed that night and stared at the ceiling. She sat up and looked down at her lungs. "I need you to not do anything to stop me from going. I have been in so much pain because of you. And it's worse that I can't be with him. Please, let me have the week off. I have tried to fight back. And I feel like giving up. I just need something to give me hope, inspire me to fight. Grayson is that something! I know you're giving up on me. But please keep fighting for a week. It's all I'm asking. I'll ask for nothing more. I just want to see him perform. I want to see him happy. I want to see him doing something he loves" she said to her lungs.

Sighing, she fell down on her bed. She closed her eyes as she fell asleep.

***

Grayson grew worried with each passing day. He hadn't seen Lily in over 5 months. Not on the streets. Not in the therapists. Not in the cafe. No where. He couldn't find her. He grew more depressed the more he thought about her. He now had more appointments with his therapist. But nothing could stop him from thinking and worrying about Lily.

That's all that was on his mind. He no longer was in the mood to film. He wouldn't help with editing. He wouldn't help with video ideas. He wouldn't help set up or pack away. He was constantly in his room. He hardly slept. And he was constantly searched Social Media for any sign of her. But he found nothing; just like the other 50,000 times he searched. 

Ethan had tried to persuade him to leave his room, but nothing was working. Grayson was too depressed to do anything. He hardly sleeps. He hardly eats. He hardly does anything productive. He would usually work out to clear his mind, and try to stop thinking and worrying about Lily. It works... but only for a short amount of time. After he's finished in the gym, the thought of Lily floods his mind.

He had an appointment with his therapist, Sandra. Ethan and Grayson left the apartment to see Sandra. As they enter the therapists, they met Sandra and went to Grayson's room. He lay on his bed while Sandra and Ethan sat on the chairs next to him. He would stare at the ceiling, and look no where else.

"How have you been feeling lately? Any change in your emotions or moods?" Sandra asked. Grayson didn't look at her. The room was silent while Grayson stared at the ceiling. Ethan looked worryingly at Sandra.

"I feel... useless" Grayson started. "I really want to find her! But I haven't seen her in over 5 months! And I can't help but think of the worst! What if something bad happened?! And I'm not there to help her! I feel like I don't have a purpose! What am I here for if I can't love her?! I am here to love her, but I haven't seen her in forever! I feel like I've failed as a human being. I don't deserve to live".

Sandra had written everything he said down in her notepad. "Grayson," Ethan spoke. "You are an amazing person! And the best brother I could ever ask for! You make me, and so many others, happy! I know some may insult us, but we are doing what we love. Don't be so hard on yourself! Lily wouldn't want to see you like this! How do you think she would feel if she found out you were locking yourself in your room and telling yourself you don't deserve to live?! She would be devastated! She would feel the same way you do! She would probably hate herself because she couldn't help you! Think about Lily!"

It was silent for a while. "You're right..."