Slowly Killing Me

Present Day

Today I'm older, 13 to be exact. I don't put my hair up so it's like a curly afro. I where a lot of flannels and most of my clothes are from Hottopic.  I still have no friends sadly, and I'm still not the smartest. I don't get to play with toys anymore but I can still eat food. I go to a private school now.  I live in this place where teens don't have a family and have behavioural issues.

Today is our weekend off. So I do what I always do....Sit down reading. I remember I use to do that a lot as a child. But I don't remember much from my childhood, I kinda don't want to remember.

I'm just like the rest of those miserable people, I have bad memories I don't wish to recall. But instead of being depressed and showing it, I act like a bitch. I can use social media, but now that's not interesting. All that's on their is heartbroken girls and boys and people saying how depressed life is, tho there's not a really good reason.

I know, I know, I'm a horrible person. But I tell the truth.

So as the girls socialize, talking how much they love there boyfriend. The boys talk about who is the prettiest girl. I'll be over here, reading my book in silence.

They talk about me sometimes. I guess you could call me a legend. Because apperantly I'm the biggest  sinner here. Or should I be called a mistake. I think they are afraid of me. I glance up at the boys and girls. They stare back. It takes awhile for them to break contact with me. But I eventually win the staring contest. They finally turn back to their groups. "Tch"

I sit in the therapists office. Yes, I have one. She hasn't come in yet. I patiently tap my feet and fiddle with my fingers. I always have this sinking feeling while sitting here alone. I feel like all eyes are on me, she has a lot of stuffed animals. I think she collects them. She has a whole shelf of dolls too. They look old fashioned and look like they are heading to a fancy ball.

She gave me a doll, I have it in my room. It looks like me, aside that her hair is more neat then mine. Plus her eyes are light brown, and her clothes are fancy. I sometimes get creeped out from her, but I'm use to creepy stuff now.

I live for that stuff.

"Hello, how are you today Talon? She asks. "I'm OK" I say with my same answer Everytime. She sits down in a chair across from me. "What have you been up to? She asks. I shrug and lean back in my chair. "Have you been writing in the journal? I nod and hold up a journal that is padlocked. I put it on myself. I would be embarrassed if someone ever read this, I won't even let my therapist.

I like to write down how I feel on there. Most of the things I write down is my anger with people, my frustration with the world, and all of my worries.

I think the reason why I have a therapist is...Not because I'm depressed. But because I believe their is something wrong with me, And people think so too. I agreed to see a therapist, tho I don't talk much. At least I try not to.

"Have you been taking you pills? She asks. "Yes" I lie. Truth is I'm to lazy to take them, I'm kinda scared too. What if it's one of those horror games? If you take the pill you become insane...

I just worry to much. I question things,  I have anxiety. She smiles. "What have you been doing on your free time? I hesitate for a second. You see, she thinks the creepy stuff I watch, do, and listen to makes me like this. But I think what made me like this makes me want to watch that stuff. But maybe she is right....

"Just been watching videos... Creepypastas? I say, tho it is more like a statement. "We have talked about this...They are not good for your health" she says. I look down. "I can't help it. I'm into that kinda stuff. It better then what the kids are doing today anyway...."

"I think kids would think differently" "well kids are different from me after all" I return. "I know you say it makes me messed up. But what if I watch these because I am messed up" "I doubt it honey. Even if you think that, watching these would worsen you" she says. ".....I think it's to late for that" I mumble.

Before she could convince me otherwise. The alarm goes off. "That's the end of the session" she declares. "Really? That was sort" I point out. "Yes, I'm busy with things. I will make next time longer, OK? See you next week"

I skipped dinner, just so I can stare at the stars. There are tons tonight...It's beautiful. I give a sigh and stare down. "I wish I wasn't like this, I wish that I can run away" I mutter. I stare back up to the stars, looking for any sign of approval, for any answers. "Who am I kidding!?! I pound my fist on the wall. Sometimes I would get mad at myself if I think Im doing something stupid.

I started doing that when people told me about my parents. I blamed me, through I did nothing wrong I think. I finally give up wishing and went into my bed. I pull out my phone and start doing my bad habit.Watching Creepypastas. Would this count as a strange addiction? Or would it be considered as how weird I am?

As I read and watched videos I could hear noises outside my window. I had it wide open after all.

I freeze trying to see if I could hear more. After a while I go back to reading. But then the noise starts again. My belly flip flops, I always have these fears someone would sneak in.  That's one of my worst fears. One time...When I was a child, I would cry because I could hear noises and I thought someone broke in.

But now that I'm older I wasn't that scared. I could just stab them. I keep a pocket knife inside my pillow, just Incase. I hear the noise again, is sounds like they are climbing up to the window. I sit up as my belly does summersaults.  My heartbeat quickens and my face suddenly becomes hot.

I press my back against the wall as I hold the pocket knife close to my chest. A hand shoots up into view. This person was very quiet. If I were asleep I would've probably never noticed. My first instinct is to get the hell out of here. But, I'm afraid the person will hear and come after me. So I sit here, scared out of my mind.

The person climbs into my room. He hasn't notice me yet, so I'm taking this as my chance. I cry and run towards him with my pocket knife in hand. He turns to me and grabs my hand before I could plunge it in his chest. I knee him in the stomach, and try again.  I try to put my strength in my arm and stab him.

But he out strengthens me and tightens the grip. I drop the knife out of pain. "H-help!--

He pushes me against the wall with his hand on my mouth. Hes gonna kill me, he's gonna kill me!

My eyes widen in fear and I start to whimper. He puts his finger to his mask. "Shh" he hushes.  I struggle more, I cry for help. But my pleads are muffled. "Don't you remember me? I keep on struggling. You're crazy!

"You have forgotten your friend... Talon? He whispers in my ear. He uncovers my mouth. "I-if you scream you get hurt" he warns. "I-i don't know you, why are you doing this? How do you know my name?

"When you were a c-child, we would go on adventures...The t-two of us. I promised I would come back for you" he explains. "I don't remember" "y-yes, I can see that. But it's me... Toby. But you would call me T-ticci Toby..."

I don't understand. I don't understand....I don't understand!

"Oh god..." All those memories, all those happy thoughts come rushing back. I can remember my best friend. How could I forget, why did I let my self...

"You mudered...A man.." I say quietly. "We did it t-together....And you didn't tell on me. B-because I'm still your friend. now you are o-older and understand...Now y-you are just like me" "how? I only knew you for two years as a child. How do you know I'm like you? He gets real close to my face.

"Heh, because...You are c-crazy too. You have problems" "so what if I do. The world has problems. Everybody is crazy in a way" I say. "But the insane kinda o-of crazy. You have thoughts don't you. T-that's why I wanted you as a f-friend"

"No...You're crazy!

"And you are a-attracted to it" I look into his eyes through his goggles. "What is it that you want? I ask. "As I said, I t-told you I would come back for you. I hope you h-haven't forgotten the rest of our friends" he says. "The....The rest?