Broken With You

1: New Partners

I sometimes wonder what it's like to kiss someone you love. And not from a stupid dare or a drunken night. Just a kiss because you want to show that person you love them. To show them that sometimes words can't express how they feel about you. But I will continue to wonder that until after high school. High school is just a place to have girlfriend after girlfriend and boyfriend after boyfriend. Barely anyone wants to have serious relationships, which makes it hard for me to want any guys that go to my school. And the guys I see at school are the only ones I see everyday.

I walk into my biology class and go to the middle row of tables. I sit down and I pull out my laptop and continue to write my essay that's due in two days. I put my headphones, but I don't play any music. Putting headphones in is just a hint to everyone not to bother you. As I'm finishing off one of my paragraphs I start thinking about love again. How I won't have a high school sweetheart and how I might not get the wonderful relationship my parents have. Married happily for almost 20 years. I want that, but I don't know if I can find that here. At James High. Next year is prom and graduation and I'm still here without having my first kiss or my first "real" boyfriend. My thoughts are interrupted when Ms. Merriam pulls my headphones out and closes my laptop. I look up and see that the entire class if filled with students and everyone is staring at me. But what I see is that everyone is in different seats.

"I'm sorry. What's happening?", I say looking around the classroom. She leans her head toward the seating arrangement showed on the board. I nod my head at her and look for my name. I sit next to....oh my god. Jace Gavins. I look to my left to see him already sitting next to me. Smiling at me. I don't smile back, I just look forward and put my laptop and headphones away.

Jace Gavins is my lab partner for the rest of year.

"I'm Jace.", He whispers. I try to stop myself from laughing. Is he really acting like I'm the only person in the school who doesn't know him? Like he isn't co-captain of the basketball team? Like he isn't the only not dumb person on the basketball team?

"I know who you are."

"Oh. Of course you do. I was just introducing myself since I don't know you."

"Then just ask for my name. Because thinking that I'm the only person in the entire school who didn't know who you are makes me sound like an uninformed loner. Everyone knows the basketball star slash honor student slash playboy.", I say which causes a small laugh from him. He smiles at me and I can't help but bite my lip because, let's just say it, he is absolutely gorgeous especially when he smiles. I look forward and get ready to do another easy experiment.

* * * * *

I put my beautiful, long hair in a ponytail. I do not want to see these beautiful brown locks burned during a stupid science experiment. I put my goggles and gloves on. After a stupid 15 minute lecture on safety, that we get whenever we change partners every year at this school, we finally get to work. We are supposed to separately make a liquid that when combined with our partners liquid will make a small poof of smoke. Anything bigger than a small poof means a written essay on how to follow directions.

I see Jace focused on his part of the experiment. So I just watch him since I already finished. I notice the small things he does that make him look more attractive. When his lips part when he moves his hands. How his eyebrows furrow when he turns his head. I bite my lip again, but quickly stop when he speaks while still doing his work.

"I must look absolutely gorgeous since you have been focused on me for over 20 minutes." No way 20 minutes passed of me just looking at him. I look at my phone and see that he was right. Then there's a whisper in my ear while I'm looking at my phone.

"If it matters at all, I was staring at you too when you were working."

I can't help but smile because I did feel like someone was looking at me. I just didn't think that it was him. I turn to see that his face is still close to me as if he was still whispering in my ear. Our faces are barely inches apart. His cologne smells like cinnamon, and oh my God I love cinnamon. I can't help but breathe out, which causes a smile to form on his face and somehow on mine too. He backs up and holds test tube up which tells me that he is done. I pull the beaker towards us and I look at him. We both pour our liquids in and quickly scoot back a little. The liquids formed a light blue color that is actually really pretty. Soon the liquid is fizzing and bubbling and a small poof of smoke goes into the air. Ms. Merriam gives us a thumbs up and says:

"Since you finished you can work on the reflection questions and then leave.", she says while walking to another table of students. While doing the reflection questions I turn to look at Jace but he is already looking at me.

"Why do you keep looking at me?", I say.

"Why do you keep looking at me?", he says. I open my mouth but then I close it quickly. The real reason is because I just like looking at him. He is just hot! I never realized that until now. I've seen him for almost 3 years and I'm just now really paying attention to his looks. So I responded in the best way I could think of.

"I asked first." He smiles and my heart starts beating hard. That smile. I love it.

"Okay then. I keep looking at you because I can. Now your reason."

"That's not the real reason. Just admit it. You think I'm hot.", I say and immediately regret saying it. Why the fuck did I say that? I turn my head away from embarrassment.

"Yeah it is.", My head snaps towards him with my eyes filled with shock. He thinks I'm hot? Well I am, but he thinks it. You know you feel beautiful when someone hot tells you that.

"Your surprised that I said that?", he asks and I nod. He grabs my hand and says,"You shouldn't be." And that's when I lose it. His touch, so soft. His words, so soft. His eyes, even softer. It's like I find something new about him to drool over. Then I realize he is still holding my hand. I snatch it away and grab my stuff to leave the room. I hand the teacher my reflection.  Once I'm in the hallway I can finally breathe.

What just happened? What just fucking happened?

You know what happened. You just got a crush on Jace Gavins.