The Sketch Survivors: The Enemy Among Us

Old Unfaithful

"We ride up soon!" the yells and updates of the legionnaires were drowned out entirely by the shrill wshoomsh that the geysers created. This was one area near where a geyser erupted at a constant, and one that hurled some of its rocks into orbit around this murky mire of Antilone. That would surely get them through the clouds to the site of the key.

But what kind of assistance would be necessary in the big blue? Soal was skeptical, but there was no other clear option. "Well, how?" he responded to Thronost's calls. At least, he thought they belonged to Thronost.

Suddenly, a cloaked (obviously) figure waddled up behind the Commander, his presence previously nonexistent. "Good afternoon," even in the clamor of the imminent geyser, his voice rang in Soal's ears, much to his startle.

"Don't you see, Antilonian, we're busy trying to get to the Key of Death up there?" he turned around and placed his hands on his hips, impatient. "We don't have the time to deal with such shenanigans."

"I know of a key among the stars," the dark man informed, shocking Soal. He did not believe that anyone on the surface could be aware of something in space when their stature appeared primitive (at first glance).

"Uh huh, yes, and...? Is it guarded?" Soal inquired, the rest of the legionnaires approaching him curiously.

"Beware of the Watchers," he raised his finger, only to stare up at a blank spot in the green and purple cloud-blanketed skies. "Beware of their Blink."

"What are these Watchers, and what do they do? Do they have the key?" Soal questioned, anticipating a specific, knowledgeable response. What he received was symbolizing of their setting.

"Your dress," the cloaked man calmly pointed to Soal, "is of great splendor."

Soal looked into the man's near glowing eyes with a ridiculed expression, but the explanation was natural. "This is an Insanity Sketch, get used to it," Emma muttered in the foreground.

"If you are really an Antilonian," Soal drew his sword, Limmet, "then tell me where the key is."

"My favorite color is orange, what about you?" the seemingly crazed man turned his back to the Legion, and spoke randomly to the empty space behind him.

"We've got to get out of here before he turns into a rhinoceros," Yuirus suggested. "Well, whatever these Watchers are, we've got to stay clear of them."

"They're probably the guardians of the Key here," Lucy theorized. "Whatever happens, we need to leave Antilone with everyone, with the Key, intact."

"Intact and well," Soal corrected. "You mean that, didn't you? Remember that we have a nonreactive Irene here, possibly dead, on our hands."

The cloaked man turned around, and his creased face was now that of a honeybee's, scaring the Legion half to death. "Yaaagh!" Soal yelped, and the now-honeybee humanoid buzzed unintelligibly before taking off into the air, without wings or legs, or even moving its cloak; like a glitched computer sprite.

"Adios," Emma, somewhat disturbed, waved, turning to the immense geyser that lay only a fraction of a mile away; yet its noise rose above all else.

*     *     *

Following the uneventful encounter with the man (sane by this Sketch's standards), the geyser was only an acre or two away. The trek had not been hazardous, in fact, it was just the same old swampy landscape of the rest of Antilone. Soal watched the geyser erupt as it did every minute, thrusting a plethora of tough rocks into the green and purple skies, some of them even breaking through into space.

"We ride up, now... for real," Gorshaw gulped, and Lucy tugged at his arm in dread. "We must do it now, or never."

"We must hurry!" Thronost warned. "There is a bed of rocks that lies before us. The next time this land geyser blows its top, those rocks will be sent into the air. I will go first."

"No, I will," Soal raised his gloved palm, and it shined with the reflection of a sprouting geyser. "I will go first. Followed by me will be... wait."

He turned around to spot the Lint Corp sisters, staring at him pathetically, both of them helping to carry along the unconscious Irene on a stretcher. How can I trust them? Soal pondered. Their distinct clothing was bore a striking resemblance to the outfits of the Polygmian Sleepers.

"I need Irene to come with me first," Soal decided, the deafening geyser eruption settling once again. The rest of the Legion nodded, excluding Thronost, who stood there with his arms crossed, peering into Soal's pumping heart. "After I leave, everyone follow me."

Bridget and Heather hesitantly hoisted up Irene's body and placed her in Soal's arms. Without the use of his hands, this journey was going to be a difficult one.

"Well, I've got to go now," Soal swallowed deeply, noticing spouts of hot water begin to sprout between some of the rocks at the bottom of the sizeable pit that stood before them. He inhaled a wholesome breath, before leaping onto one of the remarkably large rocks; from which much moss emerged.

The Legion quaked as the geyser prepared its explosion. Soal pressed Irene tightly to the surface of the rock, and he hugged the browning stone with all of his might. Finally, a monstrous hiss sounded itself from the furthest wells of this geyser, and the duo was suddenly propelled miles into the sky, its light dimming by the second. It's the Ricketts Elevator all over again, he thought, reeling his eyes.
Inside of himself, he vomited multiple times, before suddenly letting go of the boulder in sheer dizziness. Alarmed, he reached for Irene, but it was pointless. He did not fall, yet he could breathe well, and the climate remained temperate.
The stars twinkled around him in the emptiness of space. Beneath him, he cried in fright as he observed the stone upon which he was riding crack into fractions of itself as it plunged back to the glowing ground of Antilone. From here, many of the other geysers were visible, throwing their own boulders into space. In the boarding school, Soal had learned of geysers on Saturn's moon Titan that sent geyser oxygen into the cosmos.

Because this was an Insanity Sketch, after all, Soal had come to terms with the defiance of Antilone's outer space to modern real-world physics. He watched Irene's body float into the vacuum of the universe. Soal swam after her, as though he were under an ocean of blackness, into Irene's arms, frolicking in this free world.

Irene began to flail her legs on her own, much to Soal's disturbance. Her arms groped for solid ground, only touching Soal in the process. "Charlotte..." she mumbled, her words trailing off. "Charlotte..."

"Irene?" Soal smiled in hope for Irene's reawakening. His hopes were met with satisfaction. "Irene? It's Soal."

Irene blinked rapidly, opening them properly after several seconds. "Soal? Is that you? Am I still dreaming?" she asked groggily, realizing that they were floating together high above the world.

"No, Irene. Everything is okay... you're not dreaming," Soal reassured her, and she yelped, realizing indeed that they were floating together high above the world. "We're in the next Sketch, looking for the second key."

"Where are the others?" she wished to know, only for it to be answered before Soal could even open his mouth to speak. As the geyser screamed from below yet again, the rest of the Legion, sickened by the adventure upwards, moaned in aching agony for a couple of minutes, failing to notice Soal and Irene nearby.

Finally, the bewildered Irene, clinging to Soal's fist, followed him as he swam towards the others, who were doing just the same.

"Are you all alright?" he demanded information.

"Of course," Emma coughed, before turning around and throwing up, the vomit flying away into the far reaches of the Antilonian universe. "Blegh."

The Legion joined together once more, prepared for a hunt for the second Key of Death in outer space. Just as that search began, Soal peered into the stars. Among them was a clump of a half dozen or so, slightly vertically bulged, and closer than the other shining balls of light.

And he saw one of those stars blink. It didn't twinkle, it blinked, like a human eye would. And it stared straight into Soal's mind.