Living Without Her

Chapter 1

"32" my best friend Addison called as she stood over our math teachers desk. She didn't seem to notice though, I quickly wrote down the answer and looked back on Addison who was already looking at the next answer. "529, A, B, then A again" I wrote down the rest of the answers then got up to hand them to her.

 I went back to my desk as Addison followed. She kneeled down next to my desk and started talking as loud as she could. I quickly covered her mouth and whispered "SHHHH". I got strange glances around the room then quickly pulled my hands away so I could hold my head with them. Addison started talking again only this time much quieter. 

 The bell rang and we all got up. Addison linked her arm with mine but at the same time Tyler came over and took her place. "Excuse you" Addison said but Tyler couldn't hear her. "Hey Taylor, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe get coffee with me this weekend?" "No she really wouldn't so you can go now" Addison said as she linked our arms again and tried to walk us out. I tried to muffle a laugh but it came out as a giggle. 'Great now he thinks I'm laughing at him' I thought. "Sorry Tyler but I'm kind of busy this weekend" I said trying to leave but he grabbed my arm instead. 

 "Busy with what? Are you still mourning the loss of Addison? Taylor that was 3 months ago. Nothing you can do can bring her back." I bit my lip and held back my tears, Addison tightened her grip on my hand. She knew how much I hated talking about that night. "What happened to us Taylor? I can't be with you if you keep ignoring the facts." I made my hands into fists as Addison put her arms around my waist knowing that I would do anything if she stayed like that. "I told you this at the funeral I will tell you now, we're through." "So thats it? 4 years of a relationship goes tumbling just because the roads get a little rocky?" I didn't answer the question and he knew that, he was using it against me too. 

 I walk down the hall with Addison running to catch up with me. I got in my car and looked in the mirror, my honey colored hair was falling down form its messy bun. My green eyes were filled with sadness which hadn't changed since that night. Addison got into the passengers seat and put her head on my shoulder. I looked over at her and our eyes met. "I never liked him anyway" she said while crossing her arms. I smiled at her and started the car. The car ride home was filled with all of our favorite songs. Addison's head bobbed up and down but I couldn't enjoy it. I was too busy thinking about what I said to Tyler, I decided to get over it and start singing along with Addison.

 I got home to see Kamber and Lydia my 11 year old twin sisters. They looked at me and smiled as I walked upstairs to my room. I set my bag down on my bed and lied down. Addison lied down next to me and i scrolled through Addison's old Instagram, we stayed there until Lydia came in my room "Taylor, mom called and she told you to make us dinner." I sighed and got up wearily, I went down stairs to make spaghetti for my two sisters. 

 Unfortunately I wasn't the greatest cook and the smoke alarm went off. "How about we just order pizza?" The twins nodded with enthusiasm. I dialed the number and put it on speaker as I got rid of the burnt spaghetti. "Hello this is Pizza Hut can I take your order?" The man said. "Hi, yes I would like a large pepperoni pizza, please." I said "and a cookie pizza" I heard Kamber say behind me. "And would this be carry out of delivery?" "DELIVERY" the twins shouted at once. "Ok and whats the address?" Lydia told the man our address very quickly and hung up. "KAMBER, LYDIA" I screamed mad at myself for leaving my phone on speaker. "What" Lydia said innocently. I shook my head at the two of them and got a $20 bill out of my purse.

 I sat down on the couch and watched the re-runs of Glee until I heard the doorbell ring. I got up to answer it and saw Michael my best guy friend. I had been avoiding him lately when I actually should have gone to him. I knew losing Addison was hard for him too, but she wasn't with him like she was with me. Michael looked at me with his goofy smile that was contagious. His shaggy blonde hair blocked his beautiful blue eyes until one swift move of his head and I could see them again. 

 "Hey Taylor" Michael said while hugging me. He gave me the pizza as I gave him the money but he insisted it was on him. We started to talking. After a few minutes the twins were confused why it was taking so long and walked outside to see. "Hey Kamber, hey Lydia" he said while giving them both hugs. He was one of the few people that could tell the apart, which really wasn't that hard. Kamber had slightly darker hair and Lydia was half and inch taller than Kamber and she loved to brag about it. I handed Lydia the pizza and she carried it inside. 

 "I'm so sorry that I've been avoiding you these last few months" I began to apologize. "Thats ok, Addison was your best friend and you need time to mourn" he said understandably. i nodded my head, "my mom won't be home until late and we aren't going to be able to finish that pizza, what time does your shift end?" "It actually ended before I came here, I just knew this was your address so I volunteered to take it." I giggled at him. "So do you want to come in?" I asked holding the door for him. "Sure" he said while walking in. 

 I went inside the house and saw Addison standing next to the door waiting for me to come in, "What is he doing here?" She asked, sounding mad. "I thought you would like to see him again, its been so long" I said confused. "I know I just don't want you to forget about me or I might vanish," "Addison I could never forget about you, you're my best friend, and I love you." I hugged her and went back to the living room. 

 "Hey are you alright?" Michael said a hint of worry in his voice. "Yeah I just went to check the mailbox" "I already got it Kamber said while holding up a blue envelope. "Who's it for?" I asked, the only mail we got was bills and report cards. "Its for you Kamber said while holding it up for me. I took the envelope out of her hand and opened it up. 

 'TAG, YOU'RE IT' it said. I flipped the letter over '-Bridgette' I smiled and looked inside the envelope to see the silver star with the words 'SMILE THE BRIGHTEST AND DON'T BURN OUT' We were counselors at a camp last summer and the little girls decided to play tag so we decided to play our on game of tag with this necklace. Like the Sisterhood of the Traveling pants. It would have been Addison's turn but I had to call and tell her to send it to me instead. Michael looked over, "who's it from?" "Bridgette, its our necklace" I said still looking down at it. "Cool" Michael said while grabbing another piece of pizza. 

 I put the necklace on and sat down beside Michael. I would have sat on the other couch but the twins were hogging it. I turned to the tv to see we were watching football. I rolled my eyes but tried to sound interested. "So who's playing" Michaels eyes glued to the screen. "Cowboys vs Giants, if Cowboys win this game they're going to the Super Bowl" he said, his face full of excitement. 

 I looked at Kamber and Lydia who looks bored out of their minds. "Kamber, Lydia y'all can go eat upstairs just don't make a mess and don't tell mom." They smiled sweetly and scurried upstairs before I could change my mind. "Why did you do that? They like football." "They looked like they wanted to kill themselves" I laughed and moved to the other couch. 

 "Whats wrong do I stink?" He asked while smelling his shirt. "No I've just become more distant after everything happened." "You know it wasn't your fault?" He said while getting up to come over to my couch. "Then why do I feel like is? Why do I feel like she would still be here if it weren't for me? Why am I still here ands isn't? Why was it not me?" Tears rolled down my face as Michael sat on the couch and tackled me in a hug. I hesitated but put my arms around him. I don't remember anything else, I just knew I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in my bed.