Loving Carol {Carol2015 Fanfiction} One Shot

Chapter 1

"It would be Carol, in a thousand cities, a thousand houses, in foreign lands where they would go together, in heaven and in hell. Therese waited. Then as she was about to go to her, Carol saw her, seemed to stare at her incredulously a moment while Therese watched the slow smile growing, before her arm lifted suddenly, her hand waved a quick, eager greeting that Therese had never seen before. Therese walked towards her..." --Patricia Highsmith, The Price of Salt/Carol, last paragraph

... There was an empty chair right next to Carol and Therese didn't have to wait very long until Carol pulled it out and gestured for Therese to sit down beside her. Therese smiled and sat down.

"Hello, Carol." She said, looking into Carol's familiar grey eyes.

"Therese," Carol said, her eyes still smiling, "I hoped you'd come."

"I know," Therese answered calmly.

"But I wasn't sure if you would, actually." Carol added, a hint of disbelief still lingered in her voice.

"I know," Therese answered again, "I wasn't sure myself." Carol smiled at Therese's short responses.

"I'm glad I could make it," Therese added, sounding formal as she caught Carol's eye for a second, then looked away at the men in suits and, most likely, their wives, all wearing dresses or skirts that covered up most of their skin. They were all looking at Therese.

Therese started to introduce herself, but stopped abruptly as Carol touched the sleeve of her coat with her hand that was holding the cigarette. She gave Therese a look, then a smile.

"Gentlemen, this is Therese Belivet." Carol said, her hand still resting on Therese's arm. Her voice was lighter that night. The happiness in her smile permanent. And Therese was, in fact, delighted to talk to people. She'd tell them she worked at the New York Times, and that she liked to take photographs. It always brought her joy to talk about things she liked doing. Therese talked and Carol listened to her. Carol added an approving nod here and there, a smile, a wink if nobody was looking, then a laugh. Her laugh was sincere, Therese thought, as it had been since she knew Carol.

"It was a delight meeting you, Miss Belivet." The brunette sitting across her said as she got up and extended her hand for Therese to shake.

"Yes, yes, a delight." Her husband repeated hurriedly, grabbing his heavy grey coat and the brown hat that didn't match the coat at all. Therese stood and shook the woman's hand.

"It was my pleasure." She answered. They exchanged a kind smile before the woman and her husband disappeared out the door. They drank and talked until it was dark. And by the time the majority of Carol's red lipstick was to be found on the glass in her hand, rather than on Carol's lips, they had said goodbye and stepped out the door, onto the streets of New York.

For a while they just walked down the pavement in silence until they reached Carol's car. Therese lay a hand on one of its side mirrors, smiling as she thought of the time when Carol would sit in the drivers seat, a cigarette in the right hand, the other resting lightly on the steering wheel. She thought of the time when they were on their way to Waterloo and Carol had suddenly become hot, too hot for her to keep wearing her coat any longer than she absolutely had to. Therese remembered, she had bent over from the passenger seat, pulling on its sleeves, laughing as she saw Carol struggle to hold the lit cigarette between her lips and the steering wheel clutched in both her hands.

"What are you thinking?" Carol asked as she eyed Therese's expression. Therese looked up at her, now seeing the Carol that struggled to take off her coat in the car, right in front of her. Carol exhaled a thin cloud of smoke into the crisp night air and put out her cigarette before she looked at Therese again.

"It must be something that brings you joy." She added when she was certain Therese had no intention to say anything about it.

"Memories," Therese said, smiling.

"Memories," Carol repeated slowly as the word melted on her tongue, "I see."

Her right side leaned against the car as she studied Therese's face once again. Therese thought Carol tried to read her thoughts again, as she used to do it back then, when she met her in the store, and all the meetings after that.

Therese was right. Carol did, in fact, want to know what went on in her head. That hadn't changed about her. But Therese wasn't quite as readable as she used to be when she was nineteen, and Carol seemed to have noticed.

She raised her blonde eyebrows slightly at Therese, and without breaking eye contact she opened the door of her car, sat down in the drivers seat and shut the door. Therese looked at her a bit surprised. Carol wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, would she?

Carol drove her home that night. She had asked Therese if she was up to spend some time at her new apartment.

"You're welcome to stay for the night," she had said. Her tone was challenging but with care when she said it. Therese smiled and declined.

"I'd better not," She had said, and left Carol disappointed for a moment, "I'm afraid, I've got work sitting on my desk still."

Carol had lifted her chin and squinted at Therese, trying to find out if she was making things up.

"All right," Carol had said after a silence so long it seemed like hours to Therese, "Let me drive you home at least."

She had driven off before Therese had a chance to part her lips. They did not talk on the way back. It was the familiar silence they had bathed in on their road trip.

It was silent, yes. But somewhere between their unspoken words, thin cigarette smoke, and soft smiles Therese found comfort. Therese found comfort in the way Carol threw her almost playful glances, in the sound of her leather gloves that brushed the steering wheel every now and again.

"May I kiss you goodnight?" Therese asked curiously and with much care before she left the car. Carol seemed surprised and brushed her hair back on either side of her head, "Yes."
She said it as casual as she said everything else.

Perhaps, Therese wondered, Carol remembered the last time she'd asked her this. It was at Carols, when she still had the house and Rindy and Harge. She said no that night. But it didn't matter because she'd said yes now. Carol looked at her, waiting. And though she knew Carol, Therese had trouble to get close to her. Every time she intended to lean in to the blonde woman her skin seemed to prickle and her face heated up. As far as Therese remembered, she hadn't come any further than this the last time she'd asked.
Carol caught Therese's eye for a second and slowly smirked at the blush on her cheeks that wasn't makeup.

"Goodnight, darling." She said, her voice darker than before. Therese's heart jumped as she leaned in to Carol. Her thin lips brushed Carol's cheek and as Therese threatened to drown in the sweet scent of Carol's perfume she breathed a quick kiss on her cheek and left the car.
It was the softest kiss Carol had ever received. It was quick, but lovely. Therese looked back and saw the hint of a smile on Carol's lips, then Carol drove off and Therese disappeared in her flat.

Therese lay in her bed that night, thinking of Carol, of how she made her feel, and she caught herself wondering if, perhaps, Carol lay in her bed at the very moment, thinking of Therese as well.

"Probably," Therese whispered to herself. Hopefully, she thought and closed her eyes. Therese kept waking up that night, she turned from side to side until her legs were all tangled up in her comforter. It was cold and she was tired. How much she would have liked to lay next to Carol now, to feel her lie there, to smell the hint of perfume that was worn off from the day before.

Therese closed her eyes and thought of Carol, of herself, of them together. She thought of how they used to be and of how they are now. They had changed, Therese thought. Both of them.

But Carol was still Carol, and Therese was still Therese. And Therese loved Carol, and Carol loved Therese