I lay in the tub waiting, waiting, and waiting. The water turns red as it passes. I I'm so dizzy. Now I think I'll spend the last minutes of my life to look back at this stupid and crazy life. Growing up as a little girl I would ask my mom to tell me why I didn't have a dad like all my friends. She always told me he flew to a huge dandelion field. I always liked that story.Though now I know it was all a childish lie. My dad killed himself, I was too much. I know it will be good that its nearly over. I was always the wierd on the one people smiled at but whispered about later.I wore all black. Never figured out why, just how I was. Elementary was hard, I turned in my homework and followed the rules but the teachers looked at me wierd. The teachers looked at me coldly like I was a viper. During reccess I stood alone. watching from a swing all the other kids jump roping, or running, playing tag, and laughing. Middle school I found people sneering at me. They always shoved me in the halls, tripped me, childish pranks. Until one afternoon I was cornered. They laughed and started beating me up. I couldn't take it and the tables turned. The next day I was called in to the princibles office. The kids who got me yesterday sat in the office there looking at me as if they would murder me. The princible pushed his glasses up as I entered. He folded his hands and spoke low about how its not right to beat people up. I couldn't believe it they had cornered me not the other way. He told me they said I would say this. Even my bruises wouldn't convince him. I was susspended. My mom had to come to school. She yelled at me and I couldn't even convince my own mother. Soon though fights started turning up for me. But these times I didn't fight, just cried and they got in trouble. But soon i got so severe there were trips to the E.R. I got called to the office again to be told to stand up for myself. I yelled my head off causing me having to be hauled off, the accusations I gave still flying. Now I think about it I wouldn't mind having wings to fly now. I'm getting more light headed every minute. In eighth grade there was a dance. I decided I was gonna go, popular or not. So I went to the mall to get a dress. There at a store I found a dress I liked. I saw other girls trying it on. I looked at the price and found it way past my budget so I went to the changing stall and shoved in my bag and started walking out. Though secrurity caught up with me at the scanners. My bag was searched while the girls smiled at me with pure delight that I had been caught. I'll never understand why alot of people have hated me. I got hauled off to the station apparently it was serious. I missed that dance and the rest of the year. Which was only a month. That summer I went to the pool once and never went back. All the disgusted looks. Also the mothers ushering their children away from me looking scared. What did I do to them? I'm a freshman in highschool. Life has been hard. The years first dance is tonight, I won't be attending. I close my eyes and feel the black and cold come towards me growling. I've come too far. The stomping coming up the stairs sounds light years away. They're too late.
