There is no going back.
I cannot change the past.
I cannot get my old life back.
I cannot redo what’s already been done.
I cannot get back what’s already gone.
There is no rushing forward.
We cannot skip the next two years.
We cannot escape being confined by the limitations set by our present day life.
I wish.
I wish.
I wish.
I wish I would have said no.
I wish I did not have to go.
I wish I could be back home.
If only.
If only.
If only.
If only we were older.
If only this wait were over.
If only I would have said no to moving.
But I didn’t.
I can’t
We aren’t.
And it isn’t.
We stuck suffering, left to endure the pain of missing and being missed.
Filled from head to toe with dread for another day full of wishing to kiss and be kissed.
Crying over being limited to little time to talk every day, exchanging words through a tiny glass screen.
There is no reaching out to comfort each other, no embracing to let one know that all will be okay.
There is no kiss to physically express the phrase: “I love you.”
There is no intertwining fingers, there is no way to catch a whiff of the scent you know and love so much.
There is none of that anymore.
All we have left is what is said between “hello” and “goodbye” when on face time.
Little things here and there to remind you of a time that was once shared, when memories were created.
Happiness has faded, melting into sadness, nostalgia for those days, anxious for more to come.
Watching as the days slowly go by, the countdown never seeming to go down fast enough to be in your embrace again.
I miss you.
I wish these feelings would end, they’re overwhelming, consuming every inch of me,
Leaving me in misery.
