Hell...opps I mean my life

Please Understand

I want people to understand something. Every single person in the world has a different definition of pain. Everyday I walk around and people look at me like I'm a freak. And I walk away like it doesn't bother me. But really I break a little every single time. It hurts physically too. Every time I look the wrong way it feels like someone is stabbing me in the eye. I get headaches all the time. I don't talk about any of this much. I don't tell people that I hate going in public because I hate the looks I get. When I say I don't want to go to school and they ask me why I tell them I just don't want to. The truth is a lot of people look at me like I'm a freak. People say that you don't know pain until you look in a mirror and tell yourself not to cry. But the truth is you don't know pain until you look in the mirror and you see the freak that everyone sees. You look up and ask God why he did this to you. You ask why can't you just be normal. You don't know pain until all you hear is every single thing that people ever said to you. You don't know pain until all you see is the faces of every single person that looked at you like you were a freak. Until you look at a little kid and smiled and all he does is look at you like he's scared of you. That is my pain and I feel it every single day. That is the pain that I feel every time I look in the mirror. It's a dark place, but I've always had someone to pull me out of it. If it wasn't my sister it was my best friend.