fucked up | taehyung

26. being friendly and disoriented

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*clears throat*

i mean

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taes pov

Although it had been not even 24 hours since I've talked to Mia, I missed her. She wouldn't respond to my messages and I can only blame myself. I didn't even break up with my girlfriend when she asked me too. It was even plainly obvious that I liked her more than my own gi- well ex girlfriend.

I broke up with Nina right after I told Mia I was going to. I knew I fucked up but I can't stop trying, right? Why am I trying so hard for this girl? All I do is mess up constantly just like how I do with everything else. Before I met Mia, I never been the type to doubt myself. If I wanted to do something, I would always just fucking do it. But after Mia, I stopped doing stupid shit like missing classes and sleeping with random ass girls. I never like being stuck in my thoughts. I just always feel this hatred towards myself and it never fucking goes away. I have pointed out all the stuff that I've fucked up with recently and never understood why I kept trying. I then thought maybe the party will be good for me. Although Mia was most definitely going to be there; maybe I could get drunk and forget about everything for a little bit.

I was waiting for Hoseok to pick me up and it was getting kind of chilly. We were going to Namjoon's place to help set up before anyone started coming. Hoseok texted that he was really excited about this party and I was dreading it slightly. I didn't want to bump into Mia because I know she wanted space. I also didn't want to bump into Jungkook, who probably wants to bash my head in for stealing his girlfriend. In all honesty, I don't blame him. He dated her for so long, so why not hate the guy who stole her, even though he didn't know. Ha, another thing I fucked up. Good job.

I looked down the street and saw Hoseok in his car while I waved my arm back and forth to make sure he could see me. He stopped right next to me and motioned his hand for me to get in while smiling.

"What's up, my dude?! Are you pumped?" One thing that no one has realized about me is that I'm a great actor at times. I never want my friends to know that I'm 'sad' or any of that shit. It's something I need to deal with and I don't want burden anybody with my problems.

"Dude, hell yeah. What are all the things that we need to do at the house?" I asked, curious to all the work we will be doing for Namjoon's party.

"Oh, nothing too difficult. I'll be just setting up the music while you can fix up the food and booze, if you don't mind." Hoseok smiled brightly.

"Oh, okay. That's chill." I smiled while hoping for a good time at the party without any problems.

-

"Taehyung-ah! Quit eating the chips! Those are for the guests!" Hoseok yelled as he passsed by the kitchen, catching me eating a potato chip.

"Uhm," I hummed while grabbing the bowl and following him in the living room, "technically, I am a guest." I mentioned while slowly going for another chip, which resulted in Hoseok smacking my hand and taking the bowl out of my hands.

"True, but you can eat them when the party starts." He noted while putting the bowl of chips in the kitchen.

"Do you think we have enough booze?" Hobi asked while examining the line of booze I set up perfectly.

"Uhm, we have beer, smirnoff, wine coolers, vodka, whiskey, tequila, and even some scotch. I think we're pretty good in the alcohol department. Thanks to Namjoon's brother who graciously took our money to have all of these glorious liquids." I smiled widely.