Big idiot [NaLu]

7: Safe-Heaven

          

Okay, okay okay... just wait a sec. I KNOW it was ages since I updated. Probably all the people reading this are new readers, then hi. Welcome. And if you were with me from the beginning, well welcome back and you get my respect because you have some awesome patient XD.

I always write on my phone, but mow I'm trying new things. I'm writing on my computer *proud*. Well since it was so long ago the last chapter was publish (Like a year ago) I hope my spelling has improved. I cringe at the old chapters every time I read for information, I wrote shore instead of sure!?!?!  It's just embarrassing.________.

Have you ever. Ever had that feeling in your life, that you made that big mistake. Big as in really big. Maybe it's just me, hopefully. It's an awful feeling. Something is crawling up your back, it's really cold and no madder how you shake or cry it won't get off.  It's creepy, its right out terrifying. You can't breathe, you can't move. Just because of that big mistake, you feel this way. It could have been avoided so easily. But it still happened. And maybe it's just because of that, it's your own stupidity that made you feel this way. That's making it feel even worse. And you can't change it, you can't go back in time. The regret constantly following your footsteps where ever you go. Can't change it know, it's too late. So now you're stuck in this situation, what should you do? Let's go back for some time, maybe you understand better then.

"Happy now?"  A screaming voice was heard from the toilet, too be exact my toilet. And the voice that was screaming? That's me too. Another voice was heard answering from the small apartment complex. And landlady you know what? This time it wasn't me!

"Common Lu-chan! Don't yell at me!" Footsteps moved towards the toilet door, making it clear they stopped outside. "I'm only concerned about you, you know. Cause we're best friends an all. It's like my job." She continues talking through the door. I snicker at her chose of words before proceeding to the little trashcan I keep inside the bathroom.

"I know Levy! Good work, you're doing it well." More muffled sounds were made before I finally opened the door for my best friend. Puffing her cheeks she stared right into my eyes.

"So?" She asked breathing out. Even when she acted angry I could easily tell she was worried over the top for me, just not willing to show and the defeat that comes with it. I just walked past making my way to my way to tiny sofa.  Should I get a bigger one? Levy followed my every move for answer. With an irritated sigh I looked at her.

"It was negative." I quickly retorted as I was strangely embarrassed by the subject. She gave me a look asking where I put it and I yet again answered that it was in the little pink trashcan under the sink. As a little bird she happily flew away too ensure my answer. It's not like I would lie about this matter. With another heavy sigh I fall down into the comfy sofa. The green fabric was smooth against my bare tights. A smile crept into my face as I let all the stress lift off my shoulders. I wasn't pregnant. In literally days had I been living with the constant chatter of Levy's concern for my health. Of course I knew the risk and that I had to make sure I wasn't pregnant. But for me getting pregnant was so foreign to me. I just couldn't be pregnant. Teen pregnancy only happened in movies. Even if I wasn't really a teen any longer I couldn't see myself as a responsible adult. And a baby? I reached my hand to rub my belly. My thoughts went from raging storm into peaceful breeze. It was a frightening thought. Not warm at all, it was scary and new. Even if I wasn't ready for a baby, I still hoped for it in the future. A little toddler appeared in my mind. The little baby tried to stand. I was there to support it. But another's hand reached down to catch the struggling baby. My face reddened as my thoughts were drawn to Natsu. What would he said if I was pregnant? I thought of the situation and decided that the best choice would be to tell him. He would deserve to know and even if he dated Lisanna or not (not like I care...) he could visit his baby and he could send money or when the baby grew up he or she could switch between us. Parents that split up isn't uncommon nowadays it wouldn't be that weird. I deadpanned as I had to remind me that I WASN'T pregnant and I would not have a child. What weirdo am I sitting and wondering over my unborn nonexistent baby's future! That's... a pretty weird sentence. Wondering over the new subject I came to the conclusion that I had said worse.