Searching For Sawyer

|10| We Restart

I'm sorry for the delay. Writers block? 

"What the hell? Lily?" I hear voices above me, of which I'm assuming are mostly Cabe, judging by his distinctly deep baritone and, admittedly, the annoyance that accompanies it. Currently, I'm too busy hyperventilating under this surprisingly comfortable table, to give a shit.

I just can't believe my shit luck. First of all, he's here, and secondly-unless I can magically come up with some foolproof disguise, I'm stuck under this fucking table.

The shuffling of the table cloth breaks me from my depressing thoughts. Cabe's confused face appears.

My frantic eyes meet his gaze as wracks of anxiety shake through me. Tears are threatening to escape, my mind racing through all the possibilities, none of them good.

"Hey. Hey!" My eyes shoot up to his," what's wrong? Why are you shaking?" My sharp breaths are his only response, a whimper breaks free- from me.

I just fucking whimpered. What's wrong with me?"

My small sound causes Cabe's graceful features to soften further, pity apparent in his expression.

I glare at him, anger suddenly dominating my senses. Anger at this situation, anger towards my self, and anger at my life. And, sadly, that anger is now going to be taken out on Cabe.

"Why the fuck are you even helping me? Do you feel some sick satisfaction in helping some poor soul like me. Is that it? Because I'm fine." I release a slight laugh, "Believe me, I don't need some do gooder to help me." My words come out a furious whisper, and when I finish, I can feel my cheeks flush at the realisation of the words I just threw at him.

I glance up at him. His eyes are staring back at me, wide with shock, anger slowly taking its place. His black hair flops over his too blue eyes as he shakes his head, making me feel worse at yelling at him.

"You know what Lily. Fuck you." His eyes glitter furiously at me. Shit. "All I'm doing is helping you. But no, you can't fucking accept that. So that's okay, I'm fucking done with you and your shit. Figure it out yourself, because I'm done with you." His words spit at me, slowly breaking that last shred of hope I had. I flinch away from him, my head staying down.

I hear him scoff, before removing himself from under the table. He mumbles something to his friends and I slowly hear his footsteps leave.

It's not long until I hear a nasally voice call out after Cabe. Good. It's better this way. For the both of us.

Though, as I say this, I can't help the feeling of dread from swamping my senses. I lay my head in my hands, sadness consuming my thoughts.

The sound of heavy footsteps jolt me back to the present. Right, I'm still stuck under this table. I glance around me. Time to suck it up Sawyer and figure out how to get out without dying.

My hands gingerly lift the satin table cloth from the floor, before I peek my head from under.

Everyone's left. At least everyone from the table. They must have followed after Cabe. I twist my head up, subtly scanning the vicinity. He's not here anymore. A sharp breath of relief leaves my mouth.

Fuck, that was really close.

Taking a breath, I slowly remove myself from under the table, making sure to make as little noise as possible. I stand up carefully, checking whether he definitely has left.

Okay. I'm safe, for now at least.

I nonchalantly make my way to the exit, trying to maintain a calm exterior, whilst my heart beats a million times per second. My palms are clammy, and it's only now that I realise just how sweaty I got from being trapped under that table for so long.

Ignoring my clearly unhygienic state, I focus on the busy street now in front of me, scanning to make sure he isn't here. Still clear.

I walk down the high street, trying not to think too hard about my argument with Cabe, and the fact that there's a good chance he never wants to see me again.

Instead I think about where I can stay. The hotel I was staying in before isn't an option, my booking ended a while ago. That leaves me with two options. Neither of them good.

I can call my parents, admit to them that I lost my money, phone and credit card, and beg that they get me the earliest flight back home. Except, if I go back home, that means confronting what happened to me this past week. I can't do that. I won't. Not yet.

Or, I suck it up and attempt to make amends with Cabe, who- as I previously pointed out- most likely never wants to see me again.

Yep, definitely not happening.

-

After twenty minutes of walking endlessly around the same block of buildings, I decide to stop deliberating and sit down at the nearest bench. My hands stuff into the large pockets of Cabe's sweatpants, as my feet cross over each other, coldness causing goosebumps to arise on my arms.

Suddenly my hands touch something warm and rectangle in the bottom of Cabe's pocket. Curious, I pull it out.

Oh shit.

He left his fucking phone in here. I turn it on, only to be greeted with a passcode.

I should probably give this back to him. The best way to do it would be to just leave it through the mailbox. Nodding at my quick plan, I stand up and roughly try to remember the route to his house.

-

It's dark by the time I finally find his street. It took longer then I originally thought. I stomp down the side walk, intent on making it there as quickly as possible.

I count the house numbers down until I reach forty five. Bingo. The only light on is the one upstairs. I scoff lightly. Glad to see he's comfortable.

Taking a deep breath, I jog up the few steps and slowly lift the latch of the mailbox. Then I gently slide the phone through the hole, trying to be as quiet as possible.

A loud clank echoes through the doorway. So much for quiet. I rush around and briskly walk back towards the crumbling sidewalk.

I barely get ten metres before I hear a voice call out behind me.

"Lilly? Is that you?" Cabe's strong voice echoes in the through the dimly lit street. I slowly turn around to face him, careful to avoid any eye contact.

"What the fuck Lilly? Why would you be out here at this time? Have you any idea how dangerous it is?" his patronising tone irritates me to the core.

"I didn't really have a choice, Cabe," I finally meet his eyes, the intense blue drilling into my dark brown. I glare at him. "What did you expect?" I raise an eyebrow, still annoyed at the condescending way he treated me.

Then again, I suppose I deserve that.

"It doesn't matter. Not now at least," he takes a few steps towards me, seemingly determined to calm me down. His following words shock me.

"Look, I'm sorry for the things I said to you in the cafe. It was wrong. I was wrong. You deserve better then that," his eyes show nothing but apologies, his raven hair falling into them.

I bite my lip, before slowly nodding. I put my head down, in attempt to hide the tears that threaten to fall. He has no idea just how much I don't deserve any part of him. I'm disgusting, used and every other horrible thing you could think of. He gave me exactly what I deserved.

His soothing voice breaks me from my inner turmoil. "Will you stay the night here? My beds still open for your disposal." his dimpled smile comes into focus, and I can't help but give him a smile in return.

"I'll have to take you up on that offer," my voice comes out a whisper, for fear of it breaking and taking me down with it.

He nods his head, before gently walking towards me. I meet his crystal orbs, and slowly follow suit, until we meet in the middle. He offers me his hand.

And I take it. 

Hope you liked this chapter. Sorry for the long wait, I just really haven't felt up to writing, but I'm  back and the next chapter should be up in the next week.

happy new year!