An Angel in Disguise//Phan

Chapter 18

YES ANOTHER CHRISTMAS CHAPTER SORRY

I DIDNT REALIZE CAPS WAS ON OOPS OH WELL

Philadelphia's POV

A bright light blurs my vision as I groggily open my eyes. I turn to find the source of my inconvenient awakening, and see my mum walking towards my bed from the curtains, which are wide open. She smiles cheerily and shakes me lightly, making me completely awake.

"Merry Christmas!" She chirps.

"Merry Christmas," I mumble, with a slight smile, before turning back over to return to my slumber.

"Oh no, you are not going back to sleep," she says, but I can hear the smile in her voice. I turn back over to face her. She's standing, a smile plastered on her face and her hands on her hips.

"But why," I groan, dragging out the 'y'.

"We've had a slight change in plans. Your cousins are also coming over for Christmas! And they'll be here soon, so get up!"

"Ugh, fine," I give in, but I snuggle deeper into my cushions.

Then it happens, my covers are ripped off of me. How could she do such a terrible thing to someone? I groan even more. She walks out proudly, wearing another big smile.

I waste no more time in climbing out of bed and getting ready for the day.

After my morning routine of getting ready is done I make my way down stairs, still rubbing some sleep from my eyes. As I walk down the creaky old stairs, the smell of bacon fills my nose.

I finally get downstairs, and all my cousins are already here, exchanging hellos with my parents. They must have just gotten here.

"Phil!" My grandma exclaims from behind everyone. I didn't even see her at first. She makes her way over to me and envelopes me in a warm embrace.

The front door closes, and we all say hi before settling down in the dining room to enjoy the breakfast my dad cooked. I honestly feel really awkward, sitting there, barely saying anything, while everyone else chats away happily. It's especially unnerving to see my dad like this, happy. Not angry, not agitated, not trying to kill me or sending me daggers with his eyes. Instead, whenever our eyes meet, he looks at me fondly, and smiles. He smiles like he's actually happy that I'm here. Happy that I'm his son. Like he actually loves me. It's nice, seeing him like this, but also frightening, because I'm not use to it.

All my cousins are here, all from my moms side. Except my aunt and uncle aren't here. Apparently they had important work stuff to do, they wouldn't go into much detail, so the kids opened their presents early and then were dropped off here to spend the rest of Christmas with us. And my grandma is here because she comes over every Christmas and most other holidays. I have three cousins. The oldest is only three years older than me, his name is Chance. The second oldest is Cameron, she's my age. The youngest is Callie, and she's only seven.

After dinner the rest of Christmas Day consists of my parents preparing Christmas dinner, and everyone else basically doing whatever they want. For the most of the day, Cameron and I play video games together. I've always bonded the most with Cameron, I don't know why, probably because we're the same age. We screams at the tv until my parents tell us to be quiet and laugh at each other until our stomachs hurt. I've forgotten how much I loved my cousins. Callie and Chance sit nearby, Callie coloring and Chance on his phone. Even though they aren't a playing video games with us they still talk and we all laugh together. I miss times like this with them, and I know it's gonna be hard to see them leave after we've had such a great time together. It'll also be terrible to see them leave because I know my dad will no longer be happy and harmless. He'll go back to how he always is. And there's no escaping him. So for now, I cherish every moments I get with my amazing cousins.

*

Dinner is ready, it's about 6:00 at night. We're all sat once again at that dining table, this time with ham, rolls, mashed potatoes, salad, and more food than I can imagine strewn out all over the table. Everyone digs in, getting a little bit of everything. There's light conversation, and everyone is happy, I can tell. It's convertible. The kind of comfortable you're supposed to feel when around your family.

Near the end of dinner, I'm completely full. I push the excess food around my plate lazily. Everyone eats dessert, except me. I'm too full to eat anything more. Even as I sit there, the only one not eating, and talk, I feel incredibly happy.

"So Phil," my grandma pipes up, "any girls you like?"

I feel a slight blush rise in my cheeks as I shake my head shyly and everyone else chuckles lightly.

"Oh. How about any boys?" Grandma says with a cheeky grin. I shake my head again, no one can know the truth. Chance makes a gagging sound in the background.

"Gross, nan, being gay is disgusting," he spits.

Everyone laughs at his little comment except me, and as I look around I realize Cameron isn't laughing either. She looks almost as uneasy as I am.

"Oh come on Chance, being gay isn't bad at all," Cameron speaks up, earning a bit of a stunned look from her brother.

"Ha! Yeah right," Chance counters, "all gays are going to hell."

At that point, I had had enough. I stand up as calmly as I can and walk out of that room.

"Hey Phil where ya going?" Chance calls after me.

"To hell apparently," is how I answer him before going straight to my room and plopping down on my bed.

Oh god, why did I say that? Now my whole family is gonna hate me. This is not how I wanted to come out to them. I didn't ever want to come out to them. Now they all know, and I can only imagine how bad Dad's beating are going to be after this.

After about ten minutes there's a soft knock at my door, followed by Cameron's stepping inside.

"Hey," she mumbles, sitting next to me on my bed, "we're about to leave, I have a few more minutes left. Wanna talk about earlier?"

I bury my head in my hands and groan.

"Why did I say that? Now you all know, I'm so stupid," I say.

"Hey, you're not stupid. If it makes you feel better, I'm lesbian," she reassures.

"Really?" I stare at her with shocked eyes.

"Yes," she chuckles.

She embraces me in a tight hug, and we sit there for what feels like hours of hugging, before we hear someone yell that it's time to go.
We go downstairs, the air feels slightly heavier. I say goodbye to everyone, except Chance because he just ignored me. I watch everyone gather into their cars and drive off.

When the door closes I brace myself for the screaming and beating to come, but I never feel that first impact I was expecting so much. I open my previously closed eyes and look up at my dad, and who is standing in front of me, just seeming to watch. My lip quivers. Why isn't he pinching me? Why isn't he kicking me? Why isn't he screaming insults at me for being who I am?

"W-why aren't you hurting me?" I croak.

"Son," dad takes a step forward, but doesn't hit me, "I wouldn't hurt you because of your sexuality. The reason I hurt you is because you're useless, not because you're gay," he growls the last part and stomps away.

Im not sure whether to be relieved or scared at his sudden mood change. I should be use to it now though. At least he didn't hurt me. I for sure thought he would beat the life out of me. You can just imagine how happy I am that he didn't. Overall, despite some minor problems, today was a pretty good day.

************

There, another chapter done. Hope it wasn't that terrible.

>•<