My name's Valli. Spell it with an 'i' if you are going to at all.
I hate my name, it doesn't represent me at all. It's too, i don't know, girly, and it stands out. All I've been trying to do my whole life is to just fit in. Don't walk up to me and say, "Oh, I love your name! It's so unique and beautiful! Can we have babies yet?" or I will fuck up your face.
Sorry, I guess I'm not a very people person. People usaly lable me as 'emo' or 'goth' or, yah know, 'weird-o' is also a common one.
I guess I am a 'goth' though, from what I've heard.
I wear black, usally. I love wearing my black skinny jeans with my leather jacket, also black, and a red tank. Oh and how could I forget about my, black, combat boots?
My mid-back length blood red hair is usally down. It curls just enough to make it beautiful, even though the rest of me isn't.
I don't really have friends. I sit alone at the table during lunch. Whenever we pick partners, I'm the one person everyone says "Do I really have to be with that?" It's horrible.
The only people who actually like me are the people I meet online. They accept me in ways no one at my school has.
My family doesn't really like me, either. I live with my Dad and my Step-Mom, Laura.
Laura expecially hates me. I don't know whether she's just a bitch or what but i hope whatever she has is fatal.
My dad lets her do whatever she wants when he's home. The problem is he's never home. Every Sunday through Saturday he is at work in Flordia. We live in California so he's really far away.
What Laura does to me is beyond child abuse. My mom sells me as a prostitute when my dad's not home. Every night when i get home from school there are guys lined up waiting.
I dont even get paid. It still wouldn't be okay if I did, but you know.
These men were voilent, too. I got a nose piercing once and while this guy was going he took it out of my nose and, needless to say, I have an extra piercing in a place I never wanted one.
Laura didn't give two shits about it.
So am I a virgin? Technically, no. Spiritually, Yes. I didn't know any of those awful people so I feel inside that I am still intact.
I wasn't going to give up my sould anytime soon either. No one deserved it. People are total dicks today.
Besides, next week I was going to be 18. 18 years old. To most that means "Hey Im an Adult!' or "Hey I can smoke!" but to me 18 means freedom. An actual chance. No more Laura just me and whatever lies ahead.
Just for an actual life. Thats all I've ever wanted. Someday I would be something great. Laura would hear my name and know that she really didn't break me, she only destroyed my childhood for a short ammount of time.
Someday she would regret everything she did. I would have a smile on my face watching her.
