Her Concealed Secrets

Chapter One

Jade's Point of View

I won't tell any single soul

They don't need to know

Nothing's going to happen anyways

What's done is done and nothing will change

I will just keep it to myself until I die

Those where the thoughts that's  been always running inside my head for a decade now, yes a decade, oh such a long time to keep this painful things solely to myself. Such long time to keep this painful truth that I am now, already broken .

They did it to me, it's their fault I became like this, like an empty vessel. I am not like this, I am contrary to what I am now to what I am before. I was a cheerful girl, a bubbly one to be exact. Having those contagious smile that can infect everyone but now the only contagious in me is my always gloomy aura and that's why I don't have much friends. They know how boring I am so they tend to leave me alone, I think I have this face that can drive away people.

I sighed. This thoughts are making my self-esteem much much worse.

Putting aside my sketch pad I stood up and made my way to the balcony of my room, opening the sliding glass door I breathed in the cool cold air of December, soft melody can be heard just below my balcony.

And from up here I saw my family and relatives having the time of their lives, laughing and smiling with each other like nothing can go wrong. My room is at the second floor of our house that's why I can easily see what are they all doing, they are on the garden celebrating Christmas.

I scratch the side of my neck, I almost forgot about this thing. Every Christmas or any event we will gather together in a house of a relative, and this year it was decided to held the party at our garden. Nabagay daw kasi ang mga punong nasa paligid para pag lagyan ng mga Christmas décors.

I scanned the area and  and admired the place, carols and lighting's are well placed and also  the decorations on Christmas tree.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my name being called by one of my cousins.

"Daffodil Jade Abernathy come down this instance, we will begin the exchanging of gifts" Jessel my cousin, 18 years old ,a year older than me yelled waving her hands and holding a red box which I presume is her gift. I also saw my other cousins holding their own.

I just nodded and went inside my room to grab my gift and went downstairs and then to the back door where the garden is.

I jog to where my cousins are, opposite to where the oldies are chatting happily, sipping the red wine that the maids served.

When I am near they begun to sing the "I love my monito/monita song" or whatever the title of the song is.

Dale, another cousin, two years younger than me gave his gift to Janus the same age as mine 17 years old. And then the process goes on and on and when I received my gift which is from ate Jessel I then handed my gift to kuya Kaiden, ate jessel's twin brother.

After the exchanging of gifts is done we opened our presents. Jewel nakababatang kapatid ni Dale, jumped in gladness when she saw  a new set of Love live anime figures, we laugh when she tackled Landon for a hug and tried to kiss his face and Landon being Landon tried his best to keep Jewel's lips to reach his face.  I ignored them and opened my own gift and I got 2 new books and a new sketch pad with color pencils. I thanked ate Jessel and immediately went to my room to put my new collections on my desk where I can easily see it because I have a habit of forgetting where I put my things are.

When I'm done I quickly went back to my cousins and tried to mingle, key word tried, because you see I am socially awkward especially with my own family.

I tried, I really tried to communicate but I just can't really vocalize the things I wanted to say and i don't know how to start a conversation and also do not know how to socialize even to my relatives.

Just like what's happening right now.

"Jade why are you not joining your cousins ?", my aunt asked seeing me sitting down while my cousins are playing. They called me Jade instead of my first name because I hated it, ayokong tawagin along Daffodil, it reminds me of the flower where the name came from.

"I-i'm feeling tired tita" and the awkward silence follows . She nodded and then went towards the oldies. See how boring I am. I bit my lower lip and sighed again for the nth time.

Time passed and the clock strikes to two in the morning and my cousins aren't done playing. I was hoping that they will invite me to join but they didn't, maybe they did I just declined and stay at the back watching as they laughed to their hearts out. I wish I can laugh like that.

30 minutes later, the oldies including my parents retired to the guest rooms prepared in advance, and some of my teenage cousins continued partying but some also went to retire for the night like ate Jessel.

And I think they won't notice me going to my room, so I hurriedly slip through the doors of my room and closing it afterwards. I shred off my dress and slip on my sleeping wear and then collapsed unto the bed.

I settled myself inside my comforter, and closed my eyes. Thinking about nothing, I have learned this skill where I can blank out my thoughts years ago. And it helps because I don't want to think the things that may lead to poisonous thoughts.

With heavy breath I calmed myself, and thought

Surely tomorrow would be nicer than this one.