Being strong doesn't mean you don't suffer from loneliness. Just the opposite because so many people depend on you. They see you as the jobs or chores you do, what you can do for them. Do they see me for who I am? Do they sense the unhappiness that I try to hide inside? The loneliness I feel in a crowded room?
The years have passed and the doubts are still the same as when I was younger! I wonder if I ever will grow up! Now, though, the doubts are clouded with sorrows and joys from my life! The death of my father. A new granddaughter. But, always, the doubts and self loathing are there! They are a wall separating me from the life I want to live! I want to go onto the rooftop and yell at the world. DO YOU SEE ME? DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU LOVE ME? Do I matter? I shake my fist at everything and nothing! These doubts.......these demon doubts....How to overcome?
These demons . . .the reason I doubt that I am loved, that cause me to DOUBT! ALWAYS DOUBT! LONELINESS can be experienced when you are strong, but keeping the doubts secret is hard! Do I share my doubts or stay silent?
