Wattpad Blooopers: Mistakes authors make

Staying up too late

A common error in book writing is attempting to stay awake until dawn feverishly typing away without the proper preparatory gear, which consists of a minimum of 56.3 gallons of ultra-strong coffee (At least, according to the How2101 statistics, where they surveyed James bond and agent M* being severely overworked by their boss and saw how long it was until they needed emergency caffeine doses and a trip to the e.r.) 

Usually, this is pointless, because forcing your body past it's daily limits of alertness (which for the typical teen writer wannabe, is 12:00pm-11:00pm)  so you can play minecraft in the span of the day causes the parts of your brain that computes all basic writing skills and general knowledge to explode, 

Which means everything you write will now equal that of a two-week old baby,

a baboon, 

and/or a stick.

Which may or may not be wielded by a chimpanzee at the time.   

Writing before 12:00 midnight:

T'was then I realized that she was the perfect girl for me. I gazed into her eyes, not wanting to ever leave their gaze, then she took me by the arms, undressed, and then had---------

Writing after 12:00 midnight:

flee box 'akfpqojfpnsk foiwhf;s'a js ojf wo dklklllkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.....

So, In order to function perfectly, that part needs 23.999999999 hours of sleep per day. 

In conclusion...Say, the clock says 12: 58! Gee, it sure is getting la----

woifjajf0q[wrj3jas keworj w[ 9r34 k[pr jja';ej sj'a;dj'aso psjf'a d p sd fa orellkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk  kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk-----*