The Fresh Start...

Death

I remember dying in my best friend's arms. I remember my eyelids fluttering as they were about to close. I remember saying my last words to my best friend, the one I trust the most, the one I would protect with my life, the one I have always kept close, the one I love. My best friend who I love like a sister. She always said that family doesn't end with blood.

I finally closed my eyes and smiled. I always wanted to embrace death with a smile. I felt the darkness embrace me and I was okay with that. I could feel the pain all over my body stop.

Then, there was silence.

I couldn't see anything.

I then started to miss everything.

Everyone.

My friends, my family, my entire life.

I've never really been the best with my emotions. As I had got older, I talked about my feelings less and less. I would rarely say "I love you".

But...

I loved them all.

I really did.

I was never the best person.

But, I loved them all.

I thought of all my mistakes, regrets, broken dreams, and dead family members and friends.

I fucking missed them.

I wanted to say one more goodbye to them.

I never deserved them.

But, I loved them all, Godammit!

I never told them how much they meant to me.

I never got to say goodbye to all of them.

Would they miss me?

Would they care that I'm truly gone?

I never had felt so sad.

I felt a tear roll down my face. Wait, what? Do dead people cry? Was I still alive? Was I in a coma? Was I stuck in eternal darkness? Was I going to heaven or hell?

What was going to happen to me?

I just wanted to see everyone again.

Then, I heard a distorted noise. I didn't even know what the hell that noise was.

Then I started to move.

Oh shit.

Then, I felt myself flying. I still couldn't see anything, but I was flying.

Then, everything just stopped.

What. The. Fuck?

As I tried to think about what was happening to me, I was blinded by light.