In A Second (Andley)

"Here's to your Perfect Weapon
Crack bones with blind aggression
Like birds whose wings are broken
You live without direction"

I took a deep breath as I smiled out into the crowd, lowering my mic just enough so that they couldn't hear the conflicted sigh that followed my exhale. This was the part where I would be screaming, but when I brought up the idea earlier, I was unanimously shot down. Screaming on opening night, Jon told me, would mean that crowds at subsequent shows would expect it, and I would damage my vocal chords permanently doing it every night for three months straight. "Don't want you to lose that purty voice," Ashley had said. I thought he'd been joking. Now I wasn't so sure.

No one else had noticed, I saw, looking around. Jake and Jinxx were still shredding, CC still trying to beat the living daylight out of his drum kit-and succeeding. Ashley...was refusing to look at me. Good. I didn't want to think about how my mic had cut out, leaving me with only the feed in his headset. How, desperate to solve the problem quickly, I decided it would be a good idea to sing into his mic. How I'd initially leaned in just a little too close.

How, just for the briefest sliver of a second, my lips touched his.

"You're on your own!" I heard from the crowd. I'd been thinking about...it...for less than ten second, but it felt like an eternity. Luckily, I hadn't missed any of the parts where I was actually supposed to sing. The crowd, hopefully, was too focused on the song to notice  that I was having a minor breakdown, and I couldn't afford to let it show.

He'd been grinning like a little asshole just before, because he knew what had happened with my mic. His breath swelled like whisky, so much I could practically taste it. And, when the brushed mine, his lips were so soft...

I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't want to stop thinking about it.

"We are breathing while you're sleeping
Go! and leave us alone
The lines cheated, our hearts beating
Go! and now you're on your own"

We only had four songs left in the set, and  then I could find some time to myself, get a drink and figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I could make it through four songs. Right?

~oOo~

"Woo!" I heard CC yell as he entered the dressing room ahead of me. I'd stayed onstage just a few seconds later, purposely making sure I was the last one off. I didn't want to talk to anyone, though I knew I had to. "One show down...a lot to go!"

"You should probably focus more on that second part," Jinxx countered at normal speaking volume. There were  three stands set up inside the room, and he's stopped to set his guitar on one of them. I picked up a bottle of water from a table in the hall, even though I wasn't thirsty.

"But we finished a show!"

"But we're still on tour for two months. Then we go to Europe."

I couldn't see or hear CC retaliate, but it was almost like there was a sudden decrease of energy in the room.

"I'm hungry," Jake complained, stopping just inside the doorway to set his guitar down next to Jinxx's. "Who wants pizza?"

"I DO!" There was a loud thud-possibly CC jumping. He tended to do that when he got excited.

"Is any pizza place even open this late?" I said, hoping that my voice wasn't shaking as I walked in, trying to avoid looking at Ashley. I twisted the cap off my water and took a drink, trying to steady myself. I could feel him watching me, and I was suddenly conscious of everything I did in a way that I had never been before.

"I guess you're right." CC stuck his lip out, pouting, but just a few seconds later his face lit up with another idea. "Let's go to Wal-Mart and get some of those pizza roll things you put in the microwave! We could have them on the bus!"