"why"

chapter.1

Skylar pov
Greetings I'm Skylar and I have this one special ,actually  wonderful thing I need to tell you...I don't give fuck about what you do.yall must have thought  this was bout to be one of those lovey dovey shits.Hell naw!I don't fuck like that .And don't you damn call me Skylar ,it's sky or Ace ,got that?Anyway right now I'm in a alley I like to call death trial . If you must know I'm smoking a blunt.Shit feels real good.I took out my blade and starting cutting  my skin.I tried suicide  but for some reason I always back down.I guess it's god.I think he is about the only one that cares for me and loves me.Thats about it.See I don't really understand my purpose or my mission on this earth.I don't seem to make anybody  happy.I just fuck up shit.The only thing I do good is run my trap right and that's it.What ?You never heard of a female running shit?Well consider me as your first.As a matter of fact it's almost nine .I Betta get going.I stomp my blunt in the ground and head to my caddie   (Cadillac ).I get in and blast my music not giving a fuck who's neighborhood  I'm disrupting.When I get there I greet the bodyguards and unlock the buildings  front doors and head to my office.As soon as I get in I see James aka murda  he chop the weed for me.he says " wassup ace.hows your day been." I said " hey and same as usual . I skipped school smoked a couple blunts,ate food and came here."he says "oh then yeah pretty much  the same.Do you think I could take tomorrow  off ?It's my baby girl  birthday  and I wouldn't  want to miss it  ",I thought   about it.Should I let him off?if I do ain't nobody gon  be able to chop but if I don't his daughter  will miss her daddy.hmmm"what time does the event start?' He says " twelve through  six." I say " ok you can take it off but I gotta come." He says "sure you can come .I don't mind at all." I say"okay." He eventually  goes back to chopping.Before I know it ,it's time to close up.Everyone leaves and I lock up.I then hop in my car and head home.I see my mom's car is parked in the driveway  signaling she's home and is about to lecture  me.I walk in and she's sitting on the couch with a mug in her hands and a box of tissues next to her.She looks at me and examines my body.I wear long pants and regular  t-shirts . I don't cut on my wrists case it's to common and too visible.I cut on my legs,and thighs.I don't wear shorts so it works out fine.She walks over to me and by the look of her face I can tell she been crying which  I'm used to. My mother and I used to have a great relationship  but my dad fucked it up with his habits  and how he favored my brother  over me.My mind just sorta  turned and my grades started dropping and I started to hang with gangs more.I eventually  turned into this she-thug.I never planned it,it just happened  and now I'm here standing in my living room holding my mother while she cries.Do I still have my fuck you attitude?...hell yeah.But do I still have a heart?...let's just say only to the ones that care .which is god,my mom,and james.The only people who seem to care.Anyway I let my mom go and tell her I'm fine but she says she wants me to quit the game and go back to my regular ways.My whole world  stops...My old self.I cant.My old self was pretty,smart,friendly,and loving,All the things that caused me to turn to the person I am today.I could  never.The old me had a boyfriend , and a best friend , Those people hurt me.I WILL NEVER go back.To much memories , to many events  that occured.All those things that left me broken.I don't even smile any more . I just kiss my mom and say I love you and head off to bed.I say a prayer ,plug my ear buds in and catch me some z'ss.

Hi I'm hannah the author.how do you like the first chapter ? Comment please I love feedback.and follow because  I'm not like others I follow back . Comment 143 to let me know that it's a 100% good .I love bye.

P.s help me think of a name to give you guys