Living in Her Shadow

In the Background

I knew really that he wanted her, deep down. On the outside, I had come to terms with it, obviously, 'It doesn't matter, of course, I knew, it was a joke!". But. Again. I just couldn't let him go - now don't get me wrong - I had tried, oh how I had tried! I had tried crushing on everyone, even the guy next door who always stunk of BO (I was desperate ok! And if you squinted really, really, really hard, in a dark room, he almost slightly resembled Ryan Gosling.), but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Everywhere I went, maybe he'll be at the cinema watching that new action movie! Maybe, he'll be in Subway with his mates or maybe, just maybe he'll be in the library trying to do work or something. Sometimes he was, sometimes he wasn't. But it didn't matter because when he was with her, I may as well be invisible.

"Hey, Heidi." I spun around to face him, he is tall, strong, and his hair was just elegantly pushed across his face. Heavenly.

"Hi, Kasper, how are you?" I smiled and pushed my bag onto my shoulder, at once I felt insignificant in his presence, a boy like this should be in a Disney movie or a glossy magazine, not my life.

"Yeah, I'm cool." He mumbled. I imagined a blush appearing on his cheeks, of course, he was just talking to me. Just then she flounced over, planting a kiss on his cheek, where I had imagined the blush to be, her voluminous blonde hair a cape behind her,

"Hello, Tara." I greeted her, turning away from the PDA that was making my heart crack.

"Heidi." She nodded a hello at me, I shrunk against the wall in her presence, "Come on Kasper, I want to grab a milkshake before class."

Off they went, leaving me to stand, staring at them, wishing that I could be Tara. She was so perfect and had everything that I could ever want. I sighed and walked to my first class. I knew that Kasper would never look at me the way he looked at her, she was pretty, popular, funny and she clearly made Kasper happy, whenever he's with her he won't stop smiling, and you never hear of them arguing, like you do with all the other couples in school and the papers. I wish that I had a relationship like that. Instead, I have my books, living my dream romances through them, my heart would only break one way like that, but it still didn't stop me from wanting more.