The Ballerina and the Musician

I am Lizette Bane and I live in an apartment building in the better side of the neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant in Brooklyn, New York. I live with my dad and puppy Arrow, a German Shepherd. I never knew my mother. Dad says she was born in Russia, but moved to London when she was five. She went to Cambridge University where she met my father. Dad was born in a small town somewhere on the west coast of the U.S., but he would never tell me. He was the smartest in his class and a very good athlete. I looked up to him a lot. My mom died in a car crash when I was a baby. Crazy-stupid out of state drivers! Anyway, I take after my mother in a lot of ways. Sure, I look like my father with my blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but I have my mother's determined and headstrong attitude and most of her shy, sweet personality. My dad is a lawyer for a small firm in Manhattan, and he commutes to Manhattan everyday. I go to school with the rest of the kids in my neighborhood, but when I get into high school, I want to apply to a performing arts school . I am a ballerina like my mom and dancing is most of my life. The other part of it is my family, or really, my dad. Family comes first.

School is school. It seems like what you see in the movies: there are the jocks and cheerleaders who rule the school, the big bad bullies that people always watch out for, the nerds who try to keep to themselves and their small group, and the little groups of friends that are all really different from each other. I don't really fit into any group. Most people would consider me a wallflower. I see the way the jocks are jerks, the bullies are hurt, and the nerds are geniuses in disguise. I also see that the small groups don't really care about what other people think of them and they just do their own thing. I stay on the outside looking in because it's where I feel comfortable. But all that really changed when I met Fabian Collins.

It was the beginning of this year, eighth grade, the height of middle school. Fab's from London and used to live not far from Hyde Park. He started school with everyone else, but he was so out of place. He sat near the door in class and never really talked to anyone. He was in most of my classes, but I never really noticed him until the school dance in the fall. I don't usually go to them but instead to the studio to practice and stretch. But this time, my dad had to work late and I'm not allowed to stay at home alone for long periods of time. I stood in the corner near the door of the gym. I watched the way the girls flirted with each guy they saw and never really cared why they did it. I saw that the guys wanted to dance but didn't want to make a fool of themselves in front of their friends. That's when I noticed Fabian. He stood in the corner across from me watching everyone. He was a wallflower like me. I tried to keep it from being obvious, so I watched him from the corner of my eye. He seemed okay compared to some of the other boys in school. He had brown hair tucked back behind a grey beanie and green eyes that seemed so lonely and distant. While watching him, I noticed he was watching me too. He smiled sweetly in my direction. I smiled back shyly and turned towards the clock, looking at what time it was. When I turned away, he was gone. I looked around and didn't see him anywhere. Then, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and it was him.

"Cool dance, right?" He said sarcastically. I nodded my head in response. The night went on while we standing and talking. I found out his mother is a small time fashion designer and his dad works as a stockbroker on Wall Street. He was a musician, always playing the guitar and writing music in his room. Looking back on it, we met quite simply, but that simple event changed my life.

Fabian kept my head level going into preparing for my school audition in the late spring. Every night, he would accompany me to the dance studio. After six o'clock, the place was mostly clear and dancers could practice on their own. He would talk to me as went through the movements of countless routines and specific dances I had to perfect. He would sit in the corner sometimes and strum the guitar to the tempos I went; C major in an allegro, A minor in adagio, he helped me keep my speed of my dances. I sometimes danced until I felt my toes bleeding through my pointe shoes. During the weekends, I would go to his house and listen to his music and his voice. He was very skilled. A few times he would ask me to harmonize with him. I say I'm not all that good, but he refuses my opinion with saying my voice is beautiful. Obviously, I don't believe him.

One night, a month before my audition, Fabian couldn't watch me practice for a previous engagement with his parents and "some super important work dinner". My dad dropped me off at the studio thirty minutes before I could practice by myself. I went inside and watch some high school girls dance from the window in the door. Their movements were so well placed and coordination with each other was absolutely fluent, I ran all the way back home and cried in my room. I knew I would never be as good as those girls.

The next day at school, I refused to talk to Fabian, fearing he would scold at me, retorting that I was the best ballerina he has ever seen. I didn't need that right at the moment. I went straight home after the day was over and missed meeting up with him at his place. I felt so nervous and anxious, I wanted to wrap myself up in my bed and cry myself to death. I had hit a real low point, and not the shoes.

The week before my audition, I was going to resign my application. I was too embarrassed and self-conscious to go.

On the night of the audition, my dad dropped me off in front of the theatre to find some street parking. I went into the dressing room and changed so my dad wouldn't be suspicious. I didn't want to disappoint him at the moment because he seemed so proud of me. Before any of the dancers were up, the musicians had to audition for the school. All of the dancers were ready to get on stage by the time the last musician was going to be called. But I was not ready until the name called surprised me. It was Fabian. He walked passed me before going on stage and whispered, "Wish me luck, love." He walked up the stairs and sat on the stool in front of the microphone. He got his guitar out, and spoke to the judges. "The song I will be performing for this part of the audition is a song I wrote myself called 'All You'll Ever Be'." He started playing the song that I immediately recognized was for and to me. When he was done and the judges dismissed him, he walked down and gave me a big hug saying, "Have courage. I know you can do this." He left to finish the second part of the audition. The dancers were up and my name was called first. I went on stage and poured my heart into the audition. Now, whether I got in or not was not what I was looking for. It was my courage which I found when my best friend helped me.